Tuesday, June 28, 2016

The Haves and the Have Nots: Criminology 101 (4x13)


Warning: This contains spoilers for the newest episode of of The Haves and the Have Nots. If you haven't seen it, go watch it and eat that last piece of chicken. If you have...why are you still reading this? Review after the jump!
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Just when you had me, Tyler. You had me. I was so ready to see it for Jeffrey. I was bout this close to seeing it for this queen. Let's talk about the good. The good news is that Jeffrey apparently fucked the holy hell out of Officer Justin. It took all of 2 minutes but he got him into bed because he wanted him to help him take down his mom (then he handcuffed him to the bed). Where Jeffrey got the game fucked up was when he went down into the lobby, saw Landon and tried saying "you'll never be as good as him" blah blah blah. Jeffrey, sis, you think y'all married now? At best y'all will have a few more go arounds in your hotel room but you are truly your father's son if you fell in love with a DL homophobic, fucked up cop after topping his ass (lol, literally) once. They also finally got the news that Maggie's six feet under. 

Jeffrey was on his way to some seriously bad ass character development. I think Tyler Perry should write him less as a dumbfounded gay man who only falls for the straighties but doesn't look at the good, loyal thing he has right in front of him (Landon). He should write him to feed off of his mother's craziness and grow off of it and get stronger because he was on a really good path but the second he said "you'll never be as good as him" it brought us right back to the pilot where he was staring at Wyatt's naked body in bed. It's annoying, especially because we've seen him get stronger we know he's not an idiot so unless it's some mind game he was playing, I need someone to give him a wake up call this season.

Benny gets back from Candace's and tells Hanna that she said no to letting her have Little Q (even though she knew damn well that bitch was gonna say no). When she finds out he's not even at Candace's place she calls up Aaliyah to find out what's up and she reveals that Candace put him in foster care. Candace is a horrible person and an awful mother so I think I draw my lines with her there. Instead of keeping your son, who you claim to love, or at least letting him go to a safe place she sent him to a bunch of strangers just looking for a check. I hope Candace gets her ass beat, that was another level of petty that even I can't rock with.

Don't she look JUST like Erica from LHHATL?
David is still kicking the holy hell out of Jim until one of the guards comes in and pulls his idiot ass off and tells him that Veronica is still alive and about Maggie's (disrespectful) death. Veronica's black Meryl Streep ass is in the interrogation room bawling her damn eyes out for Erica Dixon. David comes in and this bitch had the nerve to run into his arms, start crying then whisper in his ear "Your bitch is dead." I feel out my damn seat, Veronica is cruel and I need more of her. When they're in the car driving home he finally gives her the divorce papers (that she's been begging for, if memory serves correct?), she tears them up then tells him she has security following the car because she thinks she's Oprah now. Then he tells her to get out the car, she says know, he threatens to drag her out then drags this bitch out by the bun. The scene ends with her crazy ass yelling at him even though he's gone and driven away (hopefully into a new show).

Wyatt's idiot ass is still passed out on the bed and the hotel manager is pissed. He's not pissed that he has a 20 something year old OD'd on his hands, he's pissed off that he OD'd in the hotel so the hotel will probably get a bad review on yelp. Some white man calls Jennifer (Detective Herpes) and when she gets there he tells her that Wyatt's dead. As I said before, I'll believe it when they zip him up in a body bag but the actor's too fine for Tyler Perry to let just go out like that (then again he has been adding a slew of annoying, attractive white guys, I guess that's to replace the void we're apparently getting?). And also poor Katheryn.

Speaking of Katheryn, that scene with her and Hanna was other worldly. Angela Robinson (Veronica) is great at playing psycho and Renee Lawless (Katheryn) is fantastic at playing heartbroken, angry and scornful. I think we're going to get a lot of all three this season, especially after next week's preview. The scene was beautiful because of the strength of the actresses, and the scene was actually beautifully written. It was painful to hear and painful to watch. "The walls are bleeding with pain." That was probably the strongest thing I've heard all season from this show, and this show knows how to hit hard with the metaphors/analogies. Also when she begged Hanna to be there for her as "a child of God," I lost it. When she went into Amanda's room I thought she was going to call her voice mail to listen to her voice one last time, wouldn't that have been deliciously heartbreaking? Anyways, all I know is I hope Wyatt doesn't die for the sake of Katheryn because I've really grown to love her.

EPISODE GRADE: B+

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