Hit the Floor: Season 2 Review

SPOILERS AFTER THE JUMP FOR THE SECOND SEASON OF VH1'S "HIT THE FLOOR"! Do not enter unless you've seen the season.

The Lovely Bones (of Olivia)

You know how The CW is the go to network for shows that are considered soapy trash with mediocre acting but in all actuality the programming on The CW is surprisingly good and well-acted (...for the most part)? Hit the Floor is basically every CW stereotype but with people of color. The actors are pretty, the acting is alright for the most part and the drama and hookups are everywhere, and I mean...everywhere. There was a certain point in episode four or five when the whole "Olivia had something on me" got to be a little too much. I get it. This season is supposed to be the mystery of who killed Olivia and everyone has a motive but it all just got jumbled in my head by mid-season. Aside from Kyle, the show remained on the serious side of things and I learned to live with it. What really improved this year was the dancing. The previous season, in my opinion, was very basic but they really stepped it up this season!

My favorite thing about this season was the new characters. Obviously Zero and Jude, which I'll get to later, but Lionel was an amazing addition to the cast. The best part about watching this season so far after it's aired was the fact that I've seen Josette Laughlin in The Vampire Diaries as Jo. The very boring, barely relevant Jo. This gave me a chance to see her at her best, at her slimiest and made me respect her as an actress. The character didn't have much going for her to begin with, the wife of Pete Davenport just as he and Raquel were getting their relationship going but somewhere along the way she won me over. She was manipulative, crazy and impulsive but I couldn't get enough of her. Zero, on the other hand, won me over from the beginning. His initial entrance, as the foil/love interest/partner in crime of Jelena hit it on the nose. What I've wanted this show to do from the beginning was just sink into it's scandalous, soapy elements and just turn into complete fun and Zero really helped with that. From his smug egotistical attitude in contrast to Jelena, whom he spent most of his initial screen time with, to the fake Holy Bible attitude to his vow to do whatever it took to skyrocket to the top (i.e.; threatening to throw the championship if Jelena didn't choose him or when he so willingly stripped for that slimy photographer so they could get the picture of Sloane for the slide show). It's only fitting he and Jelena were responsible for one of the craziest moments of the season (the slide show incident). Jude didn't really make his mark until about halfway through. His first mark was pretty shitty, threatening to reveal that Raquel was undocumented, but after the random kiss with Zero in the limo everything charged into positive. We got some development for him and for Zero - particularly the heart-tugging scene as he revealed where his nickname "Zero" came from. This scene wasn't just great because it was a same sex couple on television - which by the way is an amazing portrayal in my opinion - but because of the little character moment we got from Zero. He's the jerky, cocky (arguable) star of the team who's having a real connection with some. A real connection he hasn't been able to make before in his life with someone else and it was awesome to see him open up like that. And it all cumulated in him telling Zero basically everything I've been thinking - Zero is so consumed in himself that he's more of a sex-basketball playing robot than real person. Point is, the new characters brought the fun and the scandal and that's all I really wanted.

Ahsha remained the worst, pushing everyone who cares about her away at one point or another. I was a little shocked that when Pete told her that him and Raquel where dating that she didn't turn into "why are you trying to hurt me" or "embarrass me" or typical Ahsha....bitch, you know what? I'm done spelling her damn name that way. I get confused and have to keep looking back and forth I'm calling this bitch Asia. I don't even like here why am I putting effort into spelling her damn name? Anyways, Asia was pretty much the worst all season. I don't like Jelena just as much as I don't like Asia so if I had to pick sides in their beef I would have to go on Asia's side because it was a low blow of Jelena to try and piss her off by going after her mother. Not only did her actions lead to Asia leaking the email that took down Zero (who kind of deserved it, because he's kind of a sleeze ball, because he helped get the picture of Sloane in the first place), but they lead to Pete drinking so she kind of almost killed Asia's dad too. Here's my problem with Jelena. She doesn't let anyone in. While it's a trait that I live for in most antagonists/villains, she's all bitch - no personality. Take for instance how Terrance was crying at the end of last season because they broke up and Jelena was cold as stone until he walked out and she broke down crying. There has been some decent character development with her (the fact that she kind of cares about Terrance and their relationship, her issues with her mother) but I don't know if they've really "impacted" the character for the better because she's still slimy and a messy bitch. That being said she set in motion most of the drama of the season and is the reason that mustard bottle AKA Oscar is in jail. Can't live with her, can't have Hit the Floor without her. Let's talk about some positive character developments, though. Meeting Derek's mom was great. They had a strained relationship (unexplained in season one) that made perfect sense the minute she was introduced. Throughout the entire game he invited her to she was on her phone, un-supportive of him, while the ...I dunno, parasite (as he refers to them all in the finale) watches and watches because he wanted to have Derek be the face of his crappy product. She goes to his house, not for him, but for him to sign something that she can sell and it all cumulates during the finale when she invites him to go celebrate (just the two of them) and it turns out she's just dragging him into more business meetings to make money off of him. He finally realizes that she's basically the root of all his problems and kicks her to the curb with Jerome (that's a Martin reference, if you didn't catch). 

This has nothing to do with anything in this paragraph but great
line, Derek. great line.

Speaking of character development, I was excited when Devon Carter (still not calling him German, sorry) became the Assistant Coach to the team because they finally found something to do with his character. He was a decent guy in the beginning but they had to start some drama with him and Asia by having him find drama where there was no drama and essentially driving her into Derek's arms. But...he didn't really have much to do this year either, did he? Aside from the kiss at the game with Asia and that reporter (that girl from Make it Or Break It) whose scenes I promptly fast forwarded through, haha. ...Oh yeah, and that time he and Ahsha decided to fuck in the arena. It's eh, because I really don't care for either character but it was also fine because...I don't care for either character, haha. Speaking of irrelevance, is it bad that I didn't really care for the case work that Sloane and Raquel were doing? I know they needed something for Raquel after her breakup with Pete, but the pairing of Sloane drained my appetite whenever they were together, honestly. There were a few interesting developments (the reveal of Raquel being undocumented, whenever they broke in places or whatever) however things got a little more fun when Kyle was brought into the mix. Obviously, because Kyle makes everything more fun. "...That's why I edited myself out!" The only reason I halfway fucks with Sloane is because Kimberly Elise played the crap out of Helen in Diary of a Mad Black Woman. She had one good moment I'll give her and that's when she read the hell out of Lionel for feeding Superman alcohol. I was happy when Sloane got thrown into her place by Superman, I will be referring to Dean Cain as Superman from now on. And I laughed when she shoved everything off of her desk when Jelena stole the evidence against Oscar. Kyle, however, remained an absolute delight this season. In my opinion, her best moments were outing Lexi and the three rich guys trying to woo her. Also, bitch, fuck Oscar. I've hated that slimy jar of Petroleum Jelly since the first episode of the first season. He was nothing but a nasty, old douche bag. His scene with Jude where he told him he didn't "have a son" broke my heart. And yours too, if you have one, right?? It. Was. Stunning. To see him get arrested. He's kind of like the Rowan Pope of this show so hopefully he's...like...bye. Unfortunately this means Lionel's sea serpent ass is the current co-owner of the Devils. Btw, they found a way to bring some relevance to Devon Carter (German). HE KILLED OLIVIA. BITCH. WHAT?! I need answers. And they will start coming in tonight.

While the dance numbers were all a step up from last season, the few that stuck out to me included: the gypsy dance, the one with the lamps/black dresses and the one when they were in Boston. I'm trash, I literally just look at the visuals.

BEST MOMENTS:

-Olivia's body is found
-Biblical sex - featuring Zero and Jelena
-Pavle & Lexi are engaged!

-Chace gets arrested at Olivia's funeral

-How the fuck did Derek and Ahsha's dumb asses not see the flashes of the camera when they got caught?

-Jude kisses Zero
-Zero reveals where the name "Zero" came from
-Zero threatening to throw the game if 
-Jelena throwing Zero out
-The evolution of Ahsha turning into the Disney version of Jelena
-When Jelena set up Ahsha to make herself look better
-Jelena breaking all of that glass, haha, hate you <3 Love seeing you mad <3

-That scary moment when Sloane saw Chace in the dark and he looked like a killer (oh yeah but he's a rapist)

-Oscar and Lionel's wedding announcement
-Ray Palmer's demonic ass marrying Lionel and Oscar
-The fact that Pam/Rochelle was Derek's mom
-Zero not scoring the winning shot (even though I kinda like him now)
-OSCAR'S BITCH ASS GETTING ARRESTED. CAN OF SPAM HEAD ASS
-RAQUEL AND KYLE GETTING MARRIED
-Jude telling Zero about himself (everything we are thinking)
-"Gideon is my name."
-SLOANE FIRES AHSHA. WTF.
-GERMAN KILLED OLIVIA. HUH?!!?!? WHUUU?!?!?!?! WHY?!?!!

SEASON GRADE: B+
Thanks, VH1, for the many ways (Marathon/access to every episode at vh1.com) I was able to easily get caught up before tonights premiere! I'll be doing weekly reviews for this season, hopefully y'all enjoy!