Wednesday, June 1, 2016

America's Got Talent 11: Auditions Week 1 Recap


Disclaimer: All these opinions are clearly subjective and I am in no way affiliated with America's Got Talent, NBC or any other corporation.



I wasn't sure if I wanted to do this show or not because AGT is a little more subjective than singing competitions but, eh, let's see how this works out.


NATHAN BOCKSTAHLER
He's really cute and has awesome comedic timing for a six year old when 30 year olds are less funny than him. I know he probably got his ass beat when he got home when he told Simon he would take a million legos instead of a million dollars, though. B+

JOSE AND CARRIE
The best part about this was him basically telling everyone he got rid of his wife and replaced her with a canine that would actually dance with him. B-

LINKIN BRIDGE
That. Was. Insane. I thought they were getting ready to spit fire when they held the mics up to their face. I want them to do some Boyz II Men next time, though! A-

THE CLAIRVOYANTS
YO HOW DID THEY DO THAT? A-

HARA
It was so visually stunning, I know this would make a ton of money outside of this show. A

THE SPICE GURLZ
Huh? I thought the gag would be that them queens could sing their sparkly asses off but the choreo was whack, they didn't sing live and when they did I couldn't wait to put "The Spice Gurlz" back on the rack. D

CHARLES AND ROSE
I don't know what was scarier, the fact that they made it through or Charles' hair plugs (or their rhythm). They're very, very entertaining and I'd love to see more of them. They're kind of a perfect hot mess. C+

RYAN STOCK & AMBERLYNN
I couldn't get through thirty seconds of this but that's talent for ya. B-



TAPE FACE
He had me from start to finish, it was beautiful in a weird way. I was dying the whole time with laughter, it genuinely looked like he had a headless girlfriend on top of him. I was at home swaying back and forth with the audience. A

LAURA BRETAN
She's awkward and cute and all, but THEM PIPES? If it wasn't for the popping on the microphone I would have thought this had to be lip synced from a backing track or something. A

MR. SPLAT
...He gets some credit for the judges running around in suds. D-

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