Randal looks like a purple daisy that got his ass kicked because he didn't look like the rest of the flowers in that ridiculous colored dress shirt he has on when he continues to taunt Marcie, with the help of Ramsey's clueless ass. I was really hoping that Marcie would pick that sign up an stab Randal in between the eyes with it. How much of a jerk can he really be? Is he absolutely aware that literally no one likes him anymore? Marcie is sick of him, Brad kicked his ass, Alex won't let him see the baby, the baby cries any time he's in the room with them, Eddie tried to kill him, Natalie sliced his ass...It's only a matter of time before he pisses off Kelly, Esperanza and Joey. To use his son as a pawn to hurt Marcie was a low blow. He saw the look of pain on her face when she found out Alex was pregnant back in season one, to have her go through all of those emotions again because of his infidelities and his nerve is just sick. Randal is like the worst kind of vine nigga, Randal looks like a second place purple beanstalk at the county fair. When Brad saw the sign, I honestly thought that he would pick it up and throw it through Randal's chest like a spear. After Brad confirms that Alex' baby is also Randal's, she runs into the bathroom and starts throwing up. Brad tries to help her out but Miss Louise throws him out, before actually seeing the sign for herself and running back to the bathroom to console Marcie. Marcie reveals she spent over 100,000 dollars, had four surgeries and took a lot of fertility treatments to try and get pregnant by Randal, who wouldn't pay for any of it. I hope Randal just up and falls down a rabbit hole so he's gone. He ain't shit.
First off, why is the background music for Joey and Lushion's scene the score from Hey Arnold? Lushion's on his way to Natalie's house when he sees Joey sitting outside, where he finds out that he's been thrown out. Because instead of trying to do something with his life, he's just sitting outside his mama's house. Lushion goes in to talk to Natalie to convince her to let Joey back in but it turns into Natalie confronting him about the 200,000 dollars he has in the bank. He's had it for a few years, claims he hasn't been robbing drug dealers and after a back and forth that I don't much care for, she kicks Lushion out. He tells Joey he moved out of his apartment and offers to get Joey a hotel room but Joey already called someone. Faun. K? Any hoo, there's a knock on Natalie's door and it's Eddie. First off, Natalie is shit out of luck because she threw out the two men who live there (Lushion was about to move in, anyways). Second off, "I said who is it!" Really, Natalie? Either you're stalling or you can't recognize Eddie's fake ass black accent when you hear it. This man busts the door open and confronts her about talking shit about him doing some illegal drug dealing stuff and TAZES HER BLACK ASS. Although it looked more like she was having an intense orgasm.
How about we just have a Pete roasting session, since I couldn't care less about his storyline? He looks like the Dollar Tree version of Michael Bae Jordan. He looks like someone bleached Michael B. Jordan and threw him and he got shrunk in a drying machine. Pete's shirt is so tight I can see where his umbilical chord used to be. Pete's shirt is so tight, I can't breath. Pete's shirt is tighter than The Braxton family. Pete's teeth are whiter than Alex' dad. In all seriousness, Pete is a black male with five white cops after him on a Tyler Perry show. You knew from the get go this wasn't going to be any type of good, especially after he reveals that Eddie was the one who shot Ben. I'm sure the captain is already aware of this. He's filthier than a muddy dirt sandwich. Anyways, Pete comes back to the precinct later walking like he has Pinocchio strings attached to his back with that mustache he colored in with an expo marker and starts flirting with Claudia. Watching them flirt is harder than taking a Chemistry test. The irony is them having no chemistry. Pete goes to visit Natalie because Lushion isn't answering the phone and he needs to give him the disc of Eddie shooting Ben because he doesn't know if he'll be alive in the morning to give it to him, which would be sadder if I actually cared about Pete and his studders.
Marcie and Brad meet in the backyard again, but this time they just talk. Most of it is filler, but it's some of the best imagery I've gotten from the show all season. How perfect would it be if we had a spin-off of Brad and Marcie making a living as singles in New York City? Well, this is Tyler Perry, so East Atlanta. I'm not sure if they're being 100 percent honest, but at this point Brad and Marcie are moving into an apartment together (as friends) and I'm not mad. The next morning, Brad and Kelly send their kids off to school. After they get on the bus, Kelly tries to make Brad feel bad about the fact that she didn't tell Alex that Brad and Marcie were sleeping together. But...Brad doesn't even know what a conscience is. Brad directs Kelly to the sign Randal put up. Kelly walks up to Marcie, sittin' on that front porch like a character on The Color Purple, I want to feel bad for Kelly, but at the same time she shouldn't have taken Alex' side. She was in the wrong, even if she was having a baby, she was a fake bitch who was having a baby. You didn't have to go see her or do anything, when Marcie (the innocent party) was hurting. And Kelly STILL didn't take the sign down.
Brad waltzes into Alex' hospital room to pick her up but that's the problem. He's literally waltzing. He is being too happy, and too nice. Alex may be a cheater and a bitch, but she's not an idiot (well she is, but not when it comes to this). Alex knows Brad is up to something and trusts him less the more he tries to convince her that he's not. It all cumulates in her getting a ride home from the doctor. K. IDC.
What could Brad be planning?: Crash the car on the way home?
Set up a trap door for Alex and the baby under the welcome mat?
So blah blah blah, we're back in the precinct and Eddie is taunting Pete before he's told by the captain he's getting dropped off to the south side and tells him to go. The thing is, the south side is very dangerous and Ben reminds Eddie that they're on bikes so that makes it even more dangerous. You know, because Ben is a bitch. Eddie tell Ben that he's going to get a call on Channel 17, even though they usually work on 12, and that he's messed with Pete's radio so he can't make any outgoing calls. They're going to get a fake call and Pete, being Pete, will immediately take off while Ben's instructed to "hang back" because "all hell is going to break loose." Lushion comes into the locker room, where Pete tries to tell him about what he was talking to Natalie about last night, but he gets a call from Frank on Natalie's phone. Frank tells him Eddie came in the house, busted the windows out their door and shocked Natalie. Lushion is visably upset for understandable reasons. Lushion tells Frank to but Natalie on the phone but Frank wasn't supposed to even be calling on Natalie's phone so he's scared he'll get an ass beat down but Lushion eventually gets on the phone with her and Frank's ass doesn't get a beat down. At least not on screen.
Before Pete's "overachieving spin cycle instructing ass" can tell him about the tape, Lushion takes off in a rage to go kick Eddie's ass. Pete follows him out as he finds Eddie, but the captain tell him to get on the truck before he can talk to Lushion. BUT FUCK THAT, because once Lushion gets Eddie in the locker room he pulls the fire alarm and shoots Eddie through the vest a dozen times and warns him to back off. The literal only thing that could have made this better is if Lushion bitch slapped the shit out of Eddie. But it's fine because it was all worth it. Lushion remembers about Pete but it's too late because he's already out patrolling on the south side. Long story short, Lushion goes out to go rescue his rookie. Lol. So. Basically what happens next is that Ben and Pete are on the south side, they radio in after they get the fake call and start pedaling. Ben stops before they turn the corner and these guys just start SHOOTING. I'm not sure if Pete's dead or not because he clearly fell to the ground, but...there was no blood. Either he's not dead or there wasn't enough money in the budget for fake blood (like Eddie's weak ass bullet wound).
#WelcomeHome
Alex and the doctor (who's name I still don't care about) show up to the house, where Brad is waiting for them on the porch. After the doctor leaves, he tells her about the sign on their front porch that's congratulating them on their baby. Then when they get in the house, BITCH HER RACIST ASS DADDY AND HER MAMA ARE IN THE HOUSE. UHHHHHHHHHHHH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
EPISODE GRADE: B-
Pete's storyline just took up so much dry space. There wasn't really much need for an hour and a half when there was an hour worth of content in the episode. It kind of just wasted everyone's time, especially with that damn slow motion violin sequence with Pete...
"If I don't leave, somebody's gonna get hurt." Marcie, you need to stay. Someone NEEDS to get hurt.
"I'm giving you fifteen minutes." "I need a half hour." "15." "See you in an hour."
Steven, saying "damn", doesn't make you any more intimidating.
BRAD IS A SAVAGE:
"I'm gonna need it after tomorrow." ....Brad, what? Pullin' a Veronica, finna set that house a blaze?
"Maybe you should take a closer look." Brad to Kelly. Was. That. Shade?
"I don't want to get hurt." "Neither did I....I mean, neither do I."
MISS LOUISE, FIX MY LIFE:
"No sir! No sir! No sir!"
"Lord have mercy!"
14,000 dollars. I wish she was my mother-in-law.
Another stellar performance from Heather Hemmens.
MARCIE & BRAD TAKE EAST ATLANTA:
"Are you sure?" The baby's black, we're all pretty sure.
"I really did enjoy having sex with you Marcie." "Same."
DO IT FOR THE VINE (RANDAL IS A TWITTER/VINE NIGGA):
"What are you doing talking to my wife?" And what were you doing fucking Brad's wife in a shed?
"He wanted his own bloodline." He wanted his own bloodline of Twitter niggas doing it for the vine.
EDDIE IS THE BEST:
"I am the damn police."
"Pete's overachieving spin cycle instructing ass."
TIGHT SHIRTS (PETE):
"What's this, son?" "It's a disc." ......................................
Pete is so stupid when it comes to flirting.
"You don't want your charger? ....Or my number? ):"
Pete's stutters are too much.
"Officer down, I need an ambulance." I'm sorry but how did y'all not laugh at that?
SLICE THAT HOE (NATALIE):
Natalie, what were you gonna do with that butter knife? Natalie, who you gon' kill with that screw driver?
Should've used a skillet to beat him like Madea's Family Reunion.
"You're the only one who hurt me Lushion." ..........
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