Wednesday, February 17, 2016

The Haves and the Have Nots: A Front Row Seat (4x07)



The episode starts of with cringing me, because this is a Tyler Perry program. Maggie and David are in bed together. Long story short, David is the only guy who can be a fuck boy and sound like he's giving a sermon on Sunday's best. He basically tells her he was just a little horny and that he wants to be with his wife. Maggie is already crazy and loyal as fuck, so y'all know this bitch ain't taking the morning after pill now. David also finds out that Maggie knew about the affair and didn't tell him. There was a whiff of irony in the air as he told her he would never talk to her again if he found out she was lying, but he's still adamant on being with the woman who tried to set his dumb ass on fire and who is currently cheating on him and wants the whole world to know. David meets Mitch the Bitch at the tow yard, gets Benny's number and calls him to confront him. Benny denies ever sleeping with Veronica and hangs up the phone but this is clearly far from over. I don't even feel bad for Benny because this is the one thing he's done on the show that isn't Candace or his mom's fault. This is all on him. Okay, well he did get locked up trying to protect Candace, then called Veronica and slept with her in the car...but...okay, it's Candace's fault, I feel bad for Benny now. I'm the worst. But so is everyone on this show, except Katheryn, so it's okay!

The most important part of the entire episode is that Katheryn is let go. Within the first five minutes of the episode, Katheryn is out. Not only is this good because Katheryn is the only older adult that is a likable and typically has decent intentions, but also because now we have Veronica and Jim alone in the cell. Those are arguably two of the most entertaining characters on the show. They're the craziest and usually have the best one liners. Within seconds, Veronica lets it slip that David was planning to run against Jim. The D.A. Herpes comes outside of their cell and reveals to them that their sons are testifying against the both of them. Jennifer also tells Jim that Wyatt has come into a lot of money, but refuses to tell him how - effectively driving him insane while he's still stuck in the cell to rot with Veronica. The most important thing Herpes revealed was that Maggie is sleeping with David. Of course this was all Veronica's crazy ass needed to hear to confirm all of her suspicions. She's the type of crazy that just needs to hear something outside of her own head in order to believe it and Jennifer is just giving her the amo she needs to go off. What makes it even pettier is the fact that Herpes doesn't even know that they're sleeping together, she's only saying it because she, herself, wants David so bad.

Katheryn calls, what looks to be, Hank from Breaking Bad to do her a favor and help out with the case but at this point the story has reached national news outlets so no one wants to help them out and be "that judge" who got a child-killer's cover up team from behind bars. She looks to be screwed until she makes a successful phone call.

Remember that random scene from last season? I bet you're wondering which one I'm talking about, considering more than half the show is just a bunch of random dialogue and scenes that are edited together. When Benny was called out for a tow, he met a woman who wanted to get rid of her car and gave it to him for a few hundred dollars. Yeah, Candace set that shit up with one of her "friends" playing the role of the random woman. Candace reveals to her friend, Erica, that she's been marked and needs to find out who the hell this man Oscar is because she thinks he was hired by Jim. She begins putting two and two together. Since Landon did the background check on Oscar, she automatically assumes it was him. And because the child welfare lady was so persistent in seeing Candace's funds, aka doing her job, Candace believes that Aaliyah was in on it as well. Aaliyah? Really? Candace, you gotta do better than this.

They invite her over she reveals that Hanna has custody of Q and is staying at a "hotel" with him. Obviously Candace is wondering why the hell she would let Hanna take him to a hotel when Aaliyah had previously called that an unstable environment and wouldn't give him to Candace for that exact reason. She tells Erica to lock the door and smacks the holy hell out of Aaliyah when she tells her that she has no idea who Oscar is. As she starts to choke her, Aaliyah comes clean...about what we already know. That Candace never showed up to the hospital so she clearly couldn't give custody over to her. What she doesn't know is that Katheryn is the one who made the arrangements with the judge. Erica slaps her again and Candace snatches her hair and drags her onto the ground when she is asked about Oscar and has no idea what she's talking about. I've honestly been on Candace's side this entire show but she was dead wrong doing this, maybe if she wasn't so impulsive, none of this would be happening. None of it. She's greedy and hurts others when she doesn't get her way. I love the fact that Candace points out that her mom was probably staying in a cheap mo-tel with him. MO-tel. Mo to the, Tel to the. Y'all know damn well the only thing ho about that tel are the hookers next door.

Elsewhere in terrible Ghetto accent land, Quita and Daylon are outside the house in the car that he stole to drive around in the nice neighborhood. The nosy white neighbor catches them and when Quita's tells her to get, she informs them she's calling the police. The police being her rapist son. Great, he's coming back... Quita and Daylon drive off, vowing to come back. The only possible reason I would want that dirty cop back is to get Candace and Erica off of Aaliyah. He can fall off a turnip truck for all I care.

"I need my money, honey."
Hanna find Wyatt on the couch, literally on top of the prostitute. She needs her damn money and Hanna throws a glass of whiskey on his hungover ass to wake him up. Wyatt's bitch ass is a wimp and after she yells at him, he get up and hilariously throws the hooker out without paying for her services. The prostitute tells him she's getting her pimp to come after him but we probably won't see him until season 6. After a few back and forths, Wyatt tries to light a cigarette and Hanna takes it out of his mouth and throws it at his weak ass "Ow, that hurt!" So does watching you act like a dumb ass week after week. Then we get to the meaty stuff where he tells her that her employers are in jail and he finally confirms all of her fears: he was the one to run over Benny. He tries to taunt her with the truth, reminding her how all the signs were there, but she claps right back with God. Jesus Christ. The Holy Father. She reminds him that she is Team Jesus. Team soldiers for Christ. She read his ass like a bible WITH the bible. Watching her wipe the smug smirk off of his face was very, very rewarding. I got chills when she reminded him that it didn't matter whether or not he was in jail or not, because until he repented, he would always be in hell. "You reap what you sew," she tells him. I really hope this is a wake up call for Wyatt. There was a real chance at turning the character around when he was raped in jail, but the first half of this season really screwed everything up in terms of character development. 

EPISODE GRADE: A-
Things are FINALLY truly picking up. I've said this after most of the episodes this season but I really think we're about to get some really good stuff next week. HANNA ALONE brought the episode's grade up to an A-. I don't usually like her but when she taps into the Holy Ghost, she shines. I may not like Hanna but Crystal Fox is damn good when it comes to selling those preachy scenes.

-CLICK HERE for more #HAHN reviews!

-Veronica is delusional as fuck if she thinks Jeffery is about to not testify against her.
-"I'm gonna miss you."
-"Jim it's not funny." "Yes it is, it's very, very funny."
-"Forgive me Veronica, I've never been in jail before."
-"I've never met someone as trifling as you." - Bitch, look in the mirror.
-"Where are your parents?" "They're in the attic, I killed them."
-"I am so sorry for what's about to happen to you."
-"Boy, you have no idea how God works."
-"You reap what you sew. And no judge can immune you from what God has in store for you unless you -repent. Ooh, baby, you better find the blood of Jesus. You better find it"
-HANNA. HAD. ME. HOLLERING. I got chills, I yelped out Jesus' name a few times, she got me GOOD.

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