#WhereIsJayZ #WhereIsRihanna #WhereIsNicki Was there a meeting at Tidal this evening?
Personally, Taylor Swift looked like an ashy mop in an uneven cutted wigged. She sounded like she was casting a spell in a Disney movie. I didn't get it, but then again, neither did America - the song didn't make the Top 15, right? Tell me Taylor doesn't look SMACK like Cody in that episode of The Suite Life of Zack and Cody when he dressed up as that little girl to impress Victoria Justice. TELL ME. (6.5/10)
I'm glad and so grateful for Kendrick. Thought he meant Whitney Houston when he was thanking people because he said "And I will always love you," but regardless, he deserved to win. He's a true lyricist and his performance was just pure artistry at it's core. (9.5/10) I think any criticism he received on the Internet was in poor taste. I think it's ironic how we're supposedly taught to love everyone but when we love ourselves there are ignorant people out there who seem to miss the point. Point it, please don't re-tweet or respond to any of that negativity on the Internet. An ignorant person is going to remain ignorant no matter how much you try and educate them. If being ignorant is their ministry, that's just what you have to live with. We can only hope that by ignoring any type of hate they will realize they have nothing relevant to say and will just shut their mayonnaise licking ass up.
I went to the bathroom during Carrie & Sam, no shade.
Ariana Grande was a hot mess, I love her. The Weeknd, however? I like his music but I don't necessarily feel he's warranted all of the attention he's received. First off, are we going to ignore the clam on top of his head? Are we going to ignore the soul of "B-ahhhhhhhh-b" (the goat from Drake & Josh) taking over his soul whenever he held out a note. That vibrato was vibrating in hell, damn. And then he did the one dance move your cousin always does at the family reunion when Billie Jean comes on. Y'all think THIS is the next Michael Jackson? What? Adele was like "well if no one else is finna stand up..." (6.5/10).
Andra Day looked and sounded absolutely amazing. She's a very underrated artist. At this point, I'm starting to prefer my artists to be underrated because fame is a hell of a drug that will ruin people. Andra day is perfect he way she is. She sounded amazing AND LOOKED STUNNING. Ellie Folding was better than I thought she would be, but it just didn't mesh together very well. I love Andra Day, and like Ellie Goulding, desperately, but together I just didn't really see it for them (8/10). They got that 8 because of Andra.
Congratz, Chris Stapleton. I was gonna go with Sam cause he fine but I don't listen to either regardless, so...when Carrie's new album out?
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| Demi brought it from an 8 to a 9. |
Ryan Seacrest shaded the hell out of Little Big Town. "You know how there are songs that just storm out of the gate to the top? This isn't one of those songs..." I personally cackled, but LBT did alright. Basically everyone stood up after because they were probably scared of looking homophobic if they didn't and that made me laugh too. I just thought the performance was okay (7/10).
Stevie Wonder & Pentatonix killed it - Stevie and Scott on the same stage? Yes please. It was a lovely tribute to Maurice White. STEVIE WONDER IS SO FUNNY I LOVE HIM. Stevie has been in the game about 50 years, he doesn't look a day over 55, and he can still sing his ass off better than more of half of the newcomers in the game. I just have nothing but respect for him. Speaking of respect....ED SHEERAN WON FOR SONG OF THE YEAR. Everything is right in the world (8.5/10).
Tori Kelly and James Bay absolutely smashed. The songs, of course! I was mostly looking forward to hearing Tori sing for the night and she absolutely disappoint. James Bay is actually a really good singer too and he held his own fantastically against her. I really need a collab between them to happen now (9/10). Regardless, Tori Kelly is goals. Gaga tore the stage up during her tribute. She was absolutely perfect (9.5/10).
Hamilton, the year's breakout Broadway show, gave a great performance and won a much deserved award! Go Hamilton! (7.5/10) Miguel's tribute to Michael Jackson was, really beautiful, and really random (8.5/10). At least he sounded good as heck. Good for Alabama Shakes. Not particularly a fan of the group, I've never heard them before, but I'm a fan of a black women winning in the Rock category at The Grammys. Black History Month, ladies and gentleman!
Before any of you bucktooth bitches come for my girl Adele, it has since been revealed that there was a piano mic that fell onto the piano that made it sound out of tune. That's why it seemed like she sounded flat for nearly all of the performance. Also, I wasn't really feeling the spotlight they gave her from behind. I thought they could have had it shining from the top because it just looked like there was a silouhette/hologram of Adele standing there for most of the time. It wasn't my favorite performance of hers but Adele still sang circles around almost everyone so...okay, whatever. We're just going to forget that Ashton Kutcher just orchestrated that performance as a part of the revival of Punk'd (7/10). When Bieber said "Where are you now that I need you," I assumed he was talking to his shirt because there was no reason for him to tear that thing off. His arms looked like Ramen noodles. I wish I could say something positive, because I really LOVE his new album, especially Love Yourself. But while I love myself, I didn't love the performance. The first have was extremely off key and he swam his way through about three more by the time the performance was over. Nerves, man. (6/10) for the solo (7.5/10) for the part with Skrillex. I didn't really pay attention to the other performances.
I was religiously rooting for Tori Kelly until I saw Meghan walking onto the stage. I realized that she actually really needed and deserved this. She debuted with a #1 single every one thought would be a one hit wonder and she proved everyone wrong. 4 Top Ten Billboard hits, a #1 album and now a Grammy. I'm proud of her because I actually really enjoyed her debut album and hope there are bigger and better things to come for her.
Taylor Swift won album of the year or something, okay.
Bruno Mars and the ageless baby daddy Mark Ronson won Record of the Year, deservedly so.
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| "Thank you." |
Extremely underwhelming, but, eh. What're you gonna do? Thanks to Giphy.com/TheGrammys for all the gifs you see here!
GRADE: C+
Mark Ronson just impregnated 26 million people.
11/10 for Mark Ronson.
11/10 for Mark Ronson.
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