Tuesday, November 17, 2015

If Loving You Is Wrong: Joey and Faun (2x07)




"Well all go a little mad sometimes." That is the understatement of the century for what Randal and Alex have done to Brad. Sure, Marcie has gone a little crazy too but time after time she's been able to show her humanity and how she's been hurt by what her husband and best friend have done to her. Brad's crazy ass has just threatened to kill people, threaten to call Alex' crazy dad and told her he was going to make everyday of her life hell for the rest of her life. And boy did he deliver.

First off, we need to talk about how irrelevant everything that idiotically naive doctor says. Brad comes into the hospital room and she is all smiles because she thinks over night Brad just forgave Alex for having a black baby and stepping out on their marriage. He has said to that womans face, multiple times, in under two minutes that he doesn't give two fucks and a diet coke about what happens to Alex in the hospital. So the fact that she's smiling and thinks they've patched everything up is either really stupid or very, very naive. Either way, I was extremely glad that she got the heck out of there because her presence is enough to get me constipated. In the doctor's defense, Brad was all smiles and sunshine when he was asking about the baby and junk. As soon as the doctor split like a banana, Brad opened up Pandora's box. Literally. Bradford Englishmuffin Montgomery pulled out the box he showed Kelly last episode full of baby names for the baby they thought they were having together. He forces her to pull a name out of the box. The box is full of different horrible things but the final name he pulled out was Randal. Damn. Afterwards, he directs her to the video (not just picture) that he sent her last night. Alex only thought that there was a picture of the shed attached but she clearly didn't get the video. He shows it to her on his phone and what is this video? Brad banging Marcie so loud that they drowned out the sounds of pots and pans. This is where Marcie and Brad differ. Marcie wants to hurt Randal, but she still actually loves him. She likes messing with him but (at least when she's sober) she knows where to draw the line. Brad looks like he's just having fun making Alex' life hell.

Why is Michael B Jordan dancing like he's in the Hotline Bling video? I feel compelled to skip everything he's in because of the goofy look on his face and the mold that's growing on his upper lip drives me crazy. Basically Lushion moved out of his house and plans on moving in with Natalie. Michael laughs his off of because he's still mentally in college and doesn't know what a healthy relationship looks like. But, does Lushion? Because I feel like Natalie smacked him around seven times before telling him she didn't need his money when she lives in the hood and works at the Burger Joint. He offers him his couch (probably from his toy set) as Ben walks out. I laughed when Ben said that his hand was good when it looks like a parabola on a graph in Algebra class. Michael's loud ass tries to whisper to Lushion about the video of Eddie shooting Ben (that he hasn't watched yet) but Ben overhears this.

Julius and one of the goons (I forgot his name, Qwan -- is Natalie his mama?) meet up at Julius' green screened mansion. Julius is Esperanza's ex, who's in the Colombian mob and still salty that Eddie shot him in the leg. Julius doesn't give a damn about any money any more, he literally just wants Qwan to kill Eddie at this point.


So the new Faun, perm and everything, comes to the Burger Joint for the earnings of the week and Natalie gives her the money. She tries to apologize to Natalie but she calls Joey over and is still trying to wrap her head around why they were fucking on top of the meat rack because gross.  Natalie asks if they're in love and Joey, like the fuckboy he is, says hell to the no while Faun says yes and is clearly hurt that she doesn't really mean anything to him. Although, how did she not guess that when he acted like he didn't see her when she walked in? Joey can't even look at Faun and it's completely ridiculous what a moron he is.

Randal comes home to face the wrath of his mom. When she asked him about Hazel, I immediately thought she was setting him up with one of those white girls from Colorado. Hazel was her friend that cheated with her husband. Randal's sorry was so ingenuine it sounded like he accidentally stepped on her shoe. He looked confused when she asked if he really was. He's so delusional. After he said yes, because she was devastated, I had to pause the TV. If he knew how devastated his mother was, why would he do the exact same thing to his wife? He couldn't be that horny because he had a wife he could have taken all that dirty crap with. But I don't need to say anymore because Miss Louise lays into him like fresh sheets out of the drier. Marcie listened in the whole time (on those steps that looked longer than the mall and metro escalators. No wonder she didn't make it out of those when she beat his ass and tried to run out to beat Alex'). After he was done getting read like a Stephen King novel, he saw her on the way up and the look of hate on his face gave me frostbite. The look on Marcie's face was a nice step down that brought her down to Earth. She had been so dead set on hurting him like he hurt her, when it did, she realized it didn't make her feel any better and the fact that she stooped to his level is starting to take it's toll on her.

Thankfully, we didn't have to see Travis this week, we just had to hear his fuck boy voice. He tries to talk to her about Ramsey, but she hangs up on him before answer the door to, who? Ramsey. The two of them have another grief session. Kelly having a decent love interest is weird, yet satisfying. We get more character development from Ramsey than we have for Lushion, Esperanza, Eddie and Julius in two seasons, combined, as he tells Kelly about his family life. On his way out, Kelly has about 7 orgasms for each day of the week when they hug. When he asks for Marcie because he wants to sell the house she is so fake because she wants him to stay in the neighborhood so bad. And then she peeped his ass on the way out. Kelly is the best, ugh, why can't she have happy? Esperanza calls Kelly and asks her about what happened to the burgler and Kelly has one more orgasm before telling her, "Child, I met a man." Kelly, chill!!! He hugged her goodbye and she felt like a child in his arms instead of a mama when she hugged Travis. "Kelly, please tell me you're not going after criminals." Esperanza, girl, isn't that more your style? Eddie, Julius, am I missing someone? Kelly is the best part of this show. "I know, I felt bad about the mama...but child, I took one look at her son?!"

Eddie sends Ben to the convenient store to try and retrieve the tape, but Michael already got it from them. He plots to steal the tape from him and tells Ben to make sure he's out of the station for the night. Michael ends up doing just that, with the help of Esperanza, but before he can actually make out who is in the video, Ben's ass comes in and asks Michael to go out with him for beers. The way he was begging him, you'd think that Ben was trying to get lucky tonight. Michael doesn't budge, though. After Alex gets the baby back, Eddie comes into the room. When he sees the baby's black leg he tries to snatch the baby from out of her hands, calls her a whore, throws the flowers on her and leaves. Damn.


EPISODE GRADE: B+

Brad is a savage:
He brought a box full of baby names that they were going to use to name the baby.
He switched all the names out for different slurs to call the baby.
Said names mentioned:  Bastard, Son of a bitch, Randal
"I'm going to come here everyday until we name this baby."
"I think me and Marcie found the sweet spot you and Randal found."
"No wonder she had to arch her back."

"ONE COP?" - Julius, don't get loud anymore. Your voice cracks like it's a drug.
At first I was wondering why he was chewing that biscuit so aggressively, then I thought it was tobacco when he spitted it out, but then I saw it was an apple.
The gun shots were hilarious when they scared Qwan.

Boy, you betta bleach:
-"Mama!" "Don't what me?"
-"Boy, I can't even look at them burger buns without seeing you skinny ass on top of her."
-NATALIE: Are you in love?
-FAUN/JOEY: Yes/No.
-Same, Natalie. Joey's derp face gave me several reasons to crack up. 
-"I was doing what you were doing, well, I wasn't having sex on a damn counter..."
Joey: I'll call you. Faun: Okay. *Face like: Nigga who the fuck are you looking at?*
"And wipe off that damn counter top. It ain't clean. It ain't clean. It ain't clean til I ain't see the two of you on top of it no more. Nasty ass."

Miss Louise, Fix My Life:
"You say another word and I will slap the taste of that whore out of your mouth."
"She would have rather you found a whore in the back alley than in your own back yard."
"Trust. If it's broken, then it can never be repaired. Maybe you could bandage it, or put it in a cast. But it will always be vulnerable."
"You are wrong. Now admit it. ADMIT IT."
"Don't give me that BS. Admit it. ADMIT IT. Say it!"
"Own it, dammit. You can't own it, can you?"
"She has found an alley in me." CHILLS.
"She slept with him, in my backyard." "They weren't sleeping."
"Son, you planted an apple tree in your backyard. And now you're mad because apples have started to grow."
"You reap what you sew."
"I wish I had the GUTS to do it in front of your father's face. I would have. And make him watch. Is it disgusting? Good, because you are disgusting to ME." Marcie's face gave me so much life.
"How long will you be staying with us?" "As long as I damn well please." Right before she said it, I mouthed those words and when did say it, I had 73 come to Jesus moments.

Eddie is the best:
"He couldn't have seen it unless he's given it to internal affairs....his dumb ass is too stupid to do that."
"Okay what? Can you sign the form?"
"Lemme ask you a question, you ever been raped?"
"Got a daughter, a wife? They ever been raped?"
"Everyday you don't sign the form, somebody's daughter, somebody's wife, some doctors is getting raped by these thugs." My high school debate team could have used Eddie.
Eddie did not steal those flowers from that old lady in the wheelchair...
His face when he saw that black leg.
Eddie, CHILL.











No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...