Saturday, October 8, 2016

X Factor UK 13: Ranking the Top 12


Disclaimer: The thoughts expressed in this post are subjective and clearly biased. I am not affiliated with ITV, X Factor or Syco! Ranking of the top 12 from Series 13 of X Factor after the jump!

Let me just start this off with a quote from the best judge in television history. "Girl bands don't tend to do well on the show." [digitalspy] Louis. Have you...have you seen the show before? Are you just completely unaware of the fact that the only group to win the show was Little Mix? A girl group. I know you absolutely hated last year's season, because you weren't on it so the audience was happy (and pleasing the audience just seems to piss Louis off), but Fourth Impact had one of the most vicious, loyal fan bases on TV singing show history. I think the simple fact that he said that, is kind of a metaphor for this entire season. What show are the judges watching? I've been keeping up with the show for about 3 to 4 years now and this is by far the weakest group they've had as long as I've been watching. Just seeing the weak auditions, the joke of a boot camp, the rushes 6 Chair Challenge and the absolute abysmal blood bath that was Judges Houses, we should have seen this coming. I was really hoping for a Louisa Johnson, a Lauren Murray, a Sam Bailey, an Andrea Faustini...at least one person who could get up on that stage and move me with the simplicity of a microphone and their voice. We might have a bit of a Fleur situation with 5 After Midnight (and Gifty, on a good day) and Matt & Samantha are capable of delivering very strong vocals, but something isn't sweet in the tea this year.

Regardless, I had a great time recapping X Factor last year so I decided to try my hand at it again! Below is a ranking of the top 12 acts for Series 13 of X Factor based on my thoughts of them so far throughout the season. Obviously, these are very biased due to my personal taste so don't shoot me for my opinions! If you agree or disagree, feel free to let me know in the comments! Thanks to mirror.co.uk for the pictures!

12. BRATTAVIO (GROUPS)
Blond Electrica, why are you back? Why are they here? That's a genuine question. I get that Louis Walsh is the messiest, most irrelevant, joke of a judge in The X Factor history but why would he do this to us? Bradley and Ottavio are funny. They're entertaining until the second they step on the stage to sing. The justifications for them being here are that they provide "entertainment". I don't know about you but it's not too entertaining to watch two white boys sing off key, fall over themselves on stage and do ridiculous vocal runs over each other while they're dressed like they've just been dipped in a gum ball machine. Yes, their last performance was their best performance (vocally and otherwise) so far, but that still puts them near the bottom of the list of every performance on any one of the shows in the X Factor franchise. 

11. HONEY G (OVERS)
This one I can't even explain. I know Sharon's a bit cuckoo in the head, but this is ridiculous, I thought she had some common sense. Yes, I think Honey G is hilarious. I live for ever rapper's name she pronounces incorrectly and every time she finds it necessary to remind us that she's the "realest chick in the game." I'll also be the first to admit, her Judges' House performance wasn't as terrible as anything else she's done. But the simple fact that she made it over Samantha, Chris or James is ridiculous.  Sharon, darling. What's going on with you?

10. FREDDIE PARKER (BOYS)
Freddie has an alright voice. When he sings, there's a certain distinction and it's recognizable. He's just been so inconsistent throughout the whole season. I don't know if I like him or not yet because I like him, then he has a bad performance, then I like him again, then I'm just content with his performance. If he can find and stay in that sweet spot, he'll have a shot, but for right now I think he's on a performance to performance stay. He has to really bring it at the first live show to even be considered a contender for the title.

09. RELLEY C (OVERS)
I absolutely love the tone of her voice. It's very distinct and when it's on point, she sounds amazing. She has some vocal control issues and I feel disconnected to her when she's singing (at least that's how I've felt during her Six Chair and Judges House performance). She's also been pretty inconsistent, but it's not like she's terrible or anything. She just has some stuff to work on.

08. BROOKS WAY (BOYS)
"They look like pop stars." "The girls are gonna love them!" "But they look like pop stars!" Louis is like a marshmallow with a voice box inside of him, programmed to say the most generic, irrelevant crap possible. I actually like Brooks way after their Judges House performance. I thought they flipped a well known hip-hop song and turned it into a haunting ballad. Their vocals are okay, Josh's are stronger than Kyle's (I think? Whichever one has the mole). Louis picked them for the wrong reason, but I think they deserved a spot in the top twelve.

07. RYAN LAWRIE (BOYS)
I think he needs to work on his annunciation when he's singing and his breath control, but I thought his performance at judges house was very strong. He seems very comfortable performing to the point where he reminded me of a little Ollie Murs (with a bit of a weaker voice). Much like Nicole, I didn't remember him but I ended up really liking him!

06. SAARA ALTO (OVERS)
There's no doubt in my mind that Saara's probably got one of the strongest, if not the strongest, voice(s) in the competition. Her performances are very powerful, almost theatrical. I'm not sure if this is the right show for her, if she's just a one trick pony that's going to deliver emotional ballads, but she works for right now. She looks to take the competition pretty seriously so, who knows, she might surprise us come live shows!

05. EMILY MIDDLEMAS (GIRLS)
Emily has a very unique voice and a lovable, chill vibe to her when she performs. She sings very pretty but she's also a great story teller if you pay attention to her eyes and her quirky facial expressions when she's singing. She's more than just a girl with a guitar, if that makes sense.

04. GIFTY (GIRLS)
Can everyone online chill with the Gifty hate? Sure, she doesn't have the best voice in the competition but watching her performing is so much fun. She knows to have a good time, her performances are fresh and funky! She has an average voice but she packages it up in a very nice, fun present for us!

03. SAMANTHA LAVERY (GIRLS)
Where did that come? Samantha has an absolutely amazing voice. She had a bit of an identity crisis in the beginning but I think her performance at judges house was the beginning of something amazing for her! It's all about song choices with her because I went from not liking her to having her become one of my favorite contestants in the span of two performance. As much as I hate to compliment Simon, asking her to take her make up off really helped open her up to the audience.

02. MATT TERRY (BOYS)
I had no idea Michael Trucco and Louis Tomlinson had a baby together? I've been waiting two weeks to say that. Once again, arguably one of the strongest voices in the competition. For some reason, I don't like when male singers rely too much on their falsetto (that's just a personal preference) so while I liked him in the beginning, I always had reservations about him. His Judges House performance was his best of the season. It highlighted his amazing voice and how his performance can be so elevated by his connection to the material. He's not going anywhere for a while! (Nicole needs to cool her jets though, she called him beautiful like 73 times right before she told him he made it through.

01. 5 AFTER MIDNIGHT (GROUPS)
I LOVE them. They can sing, they're the type of entertainment that's actually entertaining. They don't have any ridiculous gimmicks, they weren't chosen because they're cute little boys. Their chemistry on stage is amazing, their choreography is always amazing. They're a relevant, humble, cool group that I think have a real chance of making it in the industry!

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