Welp. Candace and Ericka are still beating all the soul out of Aaliyah. After they finished kicking her ass (which thank goodness we didn't have to watch, the screams were enough), Aaliyah finally admits that Oscar paid her to tell Candace that she needed to see her bank account so he could eventually get her information and steal all of her money. I think there was no need for Aaliyah to get beat up, she probably could have told her this before and gotten off a little less bruised but drama, of course. Oscar paid Aaliyah 25,000 dollars and when Candace hears this, she orders Aaliyah to cough up four times that amount (100,000) in six hours or it's her ass. She wants the money, her son (probably for display) and recommendation of custody. How's that going to work when she basically kidnaps him back into her care? Candace literally thinks with aorta and not her brain sometimes. Also, is Candace stupid? Why would she send Aaliyah out in front of the house battered and bruised? The old white woman has a camera angled right in front of her house and she's watching them like a hawk. I wish I had the guts to be as dumb of a bitch as Candace has been in these past two episode. A little later on, Candace confesses to Ericka that she's in deep trouble. It's all fun and games until she tells her that the trouble she's in is with War. Apparently he fucked up some girls named Tina and Jasmin who double-crossed him so he is not one to play around with. In order to pay him the two million she "owes" him (although I'm still not sure why???), she believes the only way is to mortgage her house and Benny's new house. This is clearly a problem because Benny decided that fucking with Candace wasn't in his ministry last week and she's about to ask him to do her another favor. The same favor, I'll remind you, that got Benny into his first fight with Hanna all the way back in season one when he mortgaged her house for Candace. Before they do all of this, they decide to pay Landon a visit. D:
Brandon/Oscar comes to David's office and informs him that he's found the P.I.'s Maggie hired to watch Veronica and tells him that she was having the affair with Benny (which he already knows). That's not the juice of the scene because Katheryn storms in like Hurricane Sandy and tells him that they need to do something to get their spouse's out of jail but David doesn't want to. He doesn't want Veronica to get killed by the hit man that Jim hired. Even though she already tried to kill him, but that's neither here nor there. Katheryn is loyal as fuck and basically reads the entire life out of David by telling him to "get over" the affair. This is why Katheryn is my favorite character because she is no-nonsense but she's actually the one good person in the whole show. She reads David for being an idiot, and stays being Jim's ride or die. One could argue how stupid Katheryn is for staying with Jim (although I'm sure the worst he's ever does is call her ugly or something, whereas Veronica tried to TORCH DAVID'S ASS. I have NOT forgotten and NEVER WILL.) but she's the one character I can count on so we're fine. David tells her that Maggie called in a few favors and Katheryn wonders if she tried to do the same with Jim and Maggie creeps up from behind and promptly asks "bishwhere"? Maggie tells Katheryn to keep her distance, but Katheryn being Katheryn says fuck that and storms past her to get shit done and David, being David, is still mad that she lied about having Veronica followed. Okay.
The D.A. Herpes calls the Cryer's banker and tells him that she has a court order for him to hand over the money to Wyatt, and he reluctantly agrees. Clearly Wyatt is a drug addict, and he tries to work with the D.A. but she rolls her eyes and basically say, "Well, bitch, are you a doctor? Therapist? No? Then shut up and give that little white boy his damn inheritance." Wyatt comes to her office and she informs him about his mother getting out but reassures him to stay calm because he is allowed to have all of his money. For some reason, this all just seems really fishy to me. From the way they look at each other, I wouldn't put it past Tyler Perry to get them to have some affair together because you know he isn't past putting the fine young ones with the older crazy ones. Maybe it's just the fact that Wyatt has super creepy eyes, maybe it's the fact that he looked the the typical fuck boy when he kissed her on the cheek and smiled back at her...something isn't sweet in the pudding.
My person favorite scene of the episode was David and Hanna in the Cryer kitchen. It's no secret that I can't stand Hanna's proud, poor ass. But when you give her a book, she will read someone down to their absolute core and that's exactly what she did to David's dumb Vitamin water flavored ass. He walks into the kitchen, hoping to find her there after finding out her house got burned down, and sees a bunch of empty bottles. She lets him know that this was all Wyatt's doing and she wasn't cleaning any of this shit up and she was going to sit her black ass in that counter until she got her check and clocked the fuck out for the last time. As David begins to question her about Benny, Hanna comes clutch with her fantastic one liners and makes sure he knows not to mess with her son. He tries to convince her that he just wants to make sure that Benny isn't getting wrapped up in Veronica's crazy game but we all know that's not true because he's got his head so far up Veronica's ass I'm surprised he hasn't passed out from suffocation yet. Hanna, like the rest of us, isn't buying the bullshit and just brushes him off. After he leaves, he calls Brandon/Oscar and tells him to screw up Benny's phone lines so all of his phone calls go to another towing company. Alright, so let's forget about that last part and get back to Hanna. I have been LOVING her lately. When she's not being an idiot about her grandson, she's actually a halfway enjoyable character. In fact, the first time she started pissing me off was anytime Candace tried to ask her a question and Hanna clapped back "where is your son?" So if Q stays out of the picture, I think I'll be able to fuck with Hanna. I really wanted her poor ass to raise hell on these rich bitches but she's Hanna, she'll probably roll her eyes and tell the pastor that Jesus will find her a way out of this.
Things were cute and entertaining, but bitch, those last five minutes? First things first, Benny gets back to the tow yard where they've been receiving no tow calls, which is obviously suspicous because business was booming just yesterday. Mitch thinks that David is the reason and confronts Benny, he also thinks it has something to do with all of the supplies he took (the lime and such to get rid of the body) from the tow yard. Meanwhile, back at the campaign head quarters, Landon gets a call from Candace (OMFG!!!). He sees Maggie crying (which I had to laugh at because she did this to her own ridiculous ass - I personally thought she was crying because she found out she was pregnant but I suppose let's save something for the finale) and brings in tissues for her. She blubbers on about how she "shouldn't have done this." THEN, David pops in and reassures her that "no [she] shouldn't have." THEN, BENNY'S BLACK ASS pops out of clean the fuck nowhere and comes out swinging with his words basically saying "Why'd you mess with my phone, fam?" The go to his office and David is calm at first, but out of absolutely nowhere they start getting physical with each other. Do you think that's the end of the episode? NO. LANDON, comes opening the door and tells David that Veronica got out of jail, and clearly that's a problem because she's going to immediately go back to her house but that's where David was trying to avoid her from going because the hit man is there waiting to shoot up her ass. So he runs out of the place, then Benny runs out of the place and Landon is left standing there.
EPISODE GRADE: A
Hands down was already one of the best episodes of the season, filled with insane and hilarious moments. The last five minutes pushed it into fantastically insane. Next week is going to be EVEN crazier. Tuesday can't come fast enough, man!
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-"Why do i keep putting myself in these situations" - Candace...Idk girl. your dumb?
-"I know this business..." "...I know my power. You need to get out of my way when I unleash it." - KATHERYN.
-"You shouldn't have lied to me about those photos." - Well David, girl, your wife shouldn't have cheated on you, threatened to get your son arrested, got a girl pregnant for your gay ass son and try and set your dumb black ass on fire. But...?
-"I thought you would have changed by now." - Veronica to Katheryn
-"How many times did i beat you, Marty? 32 times? 33?" - Veronica to Marty
-"I got me." - Veronica to the world (but mostly Marty)
-"When did it burn down?" "One day." - HANNA
-"As my sons mother there is an open investigation that I'm not at liberty to speak on." - HANNAAAAAA
-Wyat''s crackhead ass is trying to by a 3 million dollar condo. Isn't he only getting 12 million? So he spent 1/4 of it on a condo to party in and waste the rest of the money after a week of partying? Okay. Dumb ass
-VERONICA THIS WHOLE EPISODE (Her wink to Jennifer as she was released was the icing on top of the cake).
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