The show kicked off with Jennifer Lopez. I thought it was very funny starting a music show off with Jennifer Lopez, because well, I mean she's a pretty good actress. After she sang a few bars I was actually feeling her a bit! Her voice actually sounded half way decent and she was hitting notes that I never thought she would hit even if she turned into the JLO Hulk. But then she hopped off of that mountain she was standing on and told the audience it "wasn't about her." It was "about the music." Was that not hilarious? It's about the music. That isn't sung by her. Because she's JLO. A wonderful dancer and actress. A double threat. 2 Talents. Acting and dancing. (: Anyways, Charlotte Cantilini danced her ass off and it was a live way to kick off the show!
I came into this expecting a lot from Ariana Grande. She has absolutely demolished every one of her performances on the AMA stage. When she did Tattooed Heart, it's what drove me into super fan territory for her. Last year, she took two of her biggest and danciest songs and rearranged them into a gorgeous acoustic jazzy mash-up and led into her new single "Love Me Harder." I wasn't sure how she was going to top those two performances with "Focus." I like the song a lot but I just expected her to wear a long dress and sing her tiny little ass off. She wore a short dress and danced her tiny little ass of. She looked amazing and sounded amazing and I thought the jazz arrangement at the beginning of the performance was absolutely amazing and fun but when she popped out with the short dress I knew this was just going to be a performance full of poses from her. And it was. But it was a fine performance, I just expected something more stripped back and epic from her.
Meghan Trainor surprised me. She managed to turn her number one song over a year ago into four top ten songs and she's still on the music scene right now, when everyone just assumed she was going to be a one hit wonder. She started out the performance with the newest entry into her top ten list. I'll probably do a review of her debut album at some point because I love me some Meghan Trainor. Anyways the performance was cute, Meghan is a very good dancer and her choreography is always very classy and sassy. I wasn't too excited for the transition into "Marvin Gaye" because I've never been that big a fan of that song but tonight there was something about it that made me love it. Charlie Puth sounded out of breath as hell and looked just as constipated but it still was a very good performance overall. Buuuuuut what the hell happened at the end? They just decided to start chewing each other's faces off. I had no idea where it came from but Meghan was into so I just rolled with whatever that was. Whatever that was.
Nick Jonas went to church tonight and took us all there as well and I was getting my entire life. Not only that, but he gave us three performances in one. I wasn't too fond of Chains because I think he's the type of artist who is an alright singer but he really benefits from a heavily produced song. The performance got better during "Levels" and when he hit the drums I was dancing already. But, boy, when that damn choir came out and Nick was hopping around the stage like a Mexican Jumping Bean I was totally okay with the whole thing. Plus, he shut me up because he sounded good as hell. Especially at the end when he hit that falsetto, it was so lit up on that stage, man.
But girl, which goat took over The Weeknd's vocal chords tonight? Why did he stop brushing his hair? He looks like one of the clams Ariel from The Little Mermaid posses in for the promo pics. His hair looks the shit Nemo hid in. His hair looks like it could trap the nerve of Kylie Jenner's lips. He sounded okay when he started singing "The Hills" but his falsetto was indeed false on this very night. He had to cut his notes short because his vibrato literally sounded like Bahhhhhb from Drake & Josh. And half the song sounded like he was just shouting out his order at Chick Fil A. The fire effects were pretty cool, though.
Well, Demi Lovato looked absolutely fierce during that performance. I'm not a big fan of this song but she brought the sass tonight and I lived for it. Her snaps were off from her backup singers/dancers at first, which made me laugh. It's whatever because at the end she got to show off her killer range and hit some impressive runs at the end. Good for you girl, ain't nothing wrong with being Confident.
Macklemore just always looks like he's reacting to the latest episode of Pretty Little Liars every time he performs. Does Leon Bridges always look like he's conducting an Orchestra when he performs? I thought overall they sounded pretty tight. I don't know why but I really like Macklemore for some reason.
Celine Dion gave a GORGEOUS tribute to the attacks in Paris. Let's not forget everything else happening in the world because Paris is NOT the only victim of attacks not only this year, but multiple other tragedies were quietly mentioned while Paris received the mainstream attention.
All I ask for artists is to have at least one pint of talent and Pentatonix is just a testament to their still being talented people out there in the music industry. When Mitch hit that high note I peed myself. Yes ma'am. I thought it was a little weird that they were accompanied by an Orchestra when they are an A CAPELLA group. But maybe that's just my cross to bare?
I don't know if Justin Bieber was trying to look like he was singing live during Sorry or not? Because he clearly wasn't but the staging looked good enough for me not to really care but he was just like kicking puddles around the stage. The dancing during Where are U Now were pretty tough. The best part of the performance was Ariana her duck face and then saw the camera was on her and started singing a long and trying to look cute again.
Fifth Harmony were having a ball tonight and I just wanted to dance with them. Frankie Grande literally looked like a New York mural whenever he was like hoping his ass up and down in the audience. I could see this man from at the top of the arena, he's literally just like getting possessed by RuPaul anytime he is in an audience. Ariana Grande's speech with her Nona was ADORABLE. Ariana Grande being starstruck by Paula Abdul was ADORABLE. Nicki Minaj looked tired of all these white people and their shenanigans whenever she accepted one of her (several, honey, several <3) awards and I didn't blame her. I think Julianne Hough presented her one time? And she patted her on the back when she was exiting the stage and she didn't even acknowledge her she was just like get me to the alcohol, bitch. Nicki attempting to see it for Ariana's performance and shading the hell out of JLO dancing to Anaconda was also entertaining. Anna Kendricks' speech for Pitch Perfect 2 and Rebel Wilson shutting her ass up (stripper police my ass, girl) was the highlight of the evening, though. Coming it at a close second was Kylie Jenner popping her ass in like a cherry when she presented. The other girl was talking and she knelt down with her fake ass (I literally mean her butt because everything is fake on this girl now) and spoke over her to say the winner's name. Girl, you tried it.
Um, this show was just okay? I don't really love awards shows they're just fun to watch for the shade and the vocal mishaps, to be honest. The awards were mostly deserved so it was a pretty boring night.
SHOW GRADE: B-
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