Disclaimer: Spoilers for this episode of Tyler Perry and OWN's The Haves and the Have Nots after the jump! If you haven't seen it, do not click any further (until you've seen it, then definitely read)! Thank you to the Oprah Winfrey Network for the pictures!
Picking up right where last week left off, Jim opens the door for the cops and it's the same "DA" that Veronica tore apart last week. I use DA in quotes because I had absolutely no idea they replaced Jennifer already, I also don't know why she's already been replaced but I guess that's because I get all my law information from How to Get Away with Murder. Anyways, he comes in and tosses his titty on the table (not really, he just showed Jim and Kathryn the pictures from when Candace had him down in that drag queen dungeon a couple seasons back). Kathryn is ticked pink because, I mean, the photos were just ridiculous. But the real meat of the scene (I use the term meat lightly, because the scene was mostly just stares and dumb small talk) was when Jim found out that the evidence they found in Candace's house is inadmissible because the bank foreclosed on it. The same bank that Jim called and basically told to foreclose on the house. So I'm not sure if Jim realizes this yet, but he basically got Candace off and I thought that was hilarious. George, the "DA," also wants Jim to talk to Candace with a wire. So, yeah, that happened.
Candace's head should be called the rock, because it's so hard. Hanna sits back and chews her gum while Benny tries to force Candace to stay in the motel. Honestly, I've been writing about this show for a year and I'm so done with Candace. I know it's fiction, but Hanna has been dealing with this bitch for almost three decades and I don't know how. The blood of Christ was all over here because I simply couldn't. Hanna storms out and goes to find War, begging him not to hurt Candace. War has to be the most petty, dumbest stunt queen I have ever laid my eyes on. First, and foremost, what Candace originally did wasn't even that deep. Not telling him about money, that was stolen, was rude but it wasn't something she had to be raped and killed over. He already raped her, so. Also, bitch, Candace didn't even plant the drugs in his car? Mitch literally looked him dead in his dumb ass eyes and told him he was the one that planted the drugs. I'm just so impressed at how pressed he is for literally nothing. I say literally a lot, but this is literally nothing. Literally. He's one of the most annoying villains, for nothing, that I've ever seen on TV and I can't wait until someone kills his ass.
Veronica's ass is rude. She is just rude but I lived every time she insulted Melissa. Melissa all but said out of her mouth that Jeffrey was a queen and would never be in love with him, but this delusional bitch still thinks that they're about to get married. Melissa just wants to eat fried chicken, stay in her own bed and binge on Power with her daddy but Veronica is absolutely ruining this poor girls life. The one liners had me hollering, if I'm going to be honest. It was an entertaining scene, but Veronica really needs to stop because this is getting so old.
I called War a stunt queen before my eyes were forced to watch the dumb shit Jeffrey, Justin and Wyatt got up to this week. Let me start this off by saying that everything out of Justin's mouth this week was pure comedy gold. He is under Jeffrey's dick spell up, down and sideways and it's so entertaining to watch. It may be absolute trash and make no logical sense, but boy is it fun to watch. So Justin and Jeffrey are in bed, Justin just finished his dick appointment and this queen is glowing like a Beyoncé stage. It was absolute comedic perfection. Justin has seemingly become a bigger part of the show, but I still don't care for him any more or any less than I did for him last season when he served an even smaller purpose. He was telling Jeffrey how much he loves their situation and that he's sorry about how it started and Jeffrey is just staring at the TV like La'Porsha lost Idol all over again. His smile was, indeed, upside down. He told him to get out because he was going to jail, Justin gave Candace a quick little read, then Jeffrey got Wyatt's text and they sped off to Wyatt's.
I don't like talking about Wyatt, because his stupidity reaches knew heights every single week but he deserves something this week. This scene was the funniest thing I've seen on television all year and shows off why every character in this storyline is just pure, raw, unfiltered trash. Justin and Jeffrey put Quita and the dude in handcuffs and shoved them out (hopefully off to another show). Justin's waiting at the door for the other cops to come up and get them when he overhears (and see's) Wyatt touching up on Jeffrey and pulling him back down onto the couch because he needs support and doesn't want him to leave. I 100% get that Wyatt is going through it, but that doesn't change what an absolute asshole he's being. He condemns Jeffrey for being gay every chance he gets, calls him disgusting and tells him that he will never love him but in the next breath he'll tell Jeffrey that he's his best friend, he has no one else in the world and blatantly use the fact that he knows Jeffrey is in love with him to manipulate him into staying around. Justin, somehow, took the cake with the idiocy tonight. Justin comes over to the couch and starts yelling at Wyatt, calling him a junkie, tells the other cops to let the hoodrats go and yells at him about admitting to trying to buy drugs because he's mad about what he just saw. Then he turns to Jeffrey and starts yelling at him, and these two queens just absolutely get into it. They start slapping each other (not really), wrestle each other to the ground, Wyatt gets involved and Justin flips him over on his back (which, personally, got a hardy chuckle out of me). They started head butting each other, Wyatt gets up off the ground and hops back on top of them. I swear, up until Jeffrey picked up Justin's gun it looked like another intro to a gay porn. Another officer walks in, a gun goes off but we don't know who (if anyone) got shot. Obviously it's not Jeffrey, because he's in the promo for next week, but, eh.
EPISODE GRADE: B-
Storyline grades:
Jim/Kathryn: C+
Hanna/Benny/War/Candace: B-
Veronica/Melissa: B-
Justin/Jeffrey/Wyatt: B
Stray notes:
-I gave the queens a B because that was just so fucking funny.
-"Are you toying with me?" Me to Tyler Perry all of this season.
-I'm so done with these bitches having conversations about the weather during the scene when actual shit can be happening.
-Once again, LMAO AT THOSE PICTURES.
-"You're getting fucked by men and women? What's next, dogs and cats?"
-"Don't wait too long." George, bitch, don't wait too long to get the point of these scenes.
-The pictures made me sad because it reminded me about what a boss Candace used to be.
-I wanted to shove Candace's face into a toilet this whole episode.
-I muted the TV when Erica (apparently this is how you spell her name, oops) and David came on.
-Hanna. Was. A. 100%. Savage.
-"Go on somewhere before I tell yo mama."
-I couldn't watch Hanna and War's scene seriously, considering I knew she wasn't going to get through to him. These poor niggas on the show are just so damn hard headed.
-Hanna is so dramatic for nothing, lmao. The way she grabbed War's face had me hollering.
-"Are your feet on my sofa?"
-SHAVE. NIGHT. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
-Veronica basically said she isn't paying for Melissa's father's bills until she shaves. Pitiful.
-I don't know who lied and told Tyler Perry they were on premium cable, but they have to stop with the f-bombs and stuff. What's the point if it's just gonna be bleeped out and sound dumb?
No comments:
Post a Comment