X Factor UK 13: Top 11 Report Card

Disclaimer: The thoughts expressed in this post are subjective and clearly biased. I am not affiliated with ITV, X Factor or Syco! Recap of the Top 11 after the jump!

Bigs ups to the X Factor crew for making his week a little better than last week! There weren't any real surprises this week, in fact, it wasn't all that fantastic it was just a little better than last week! Can we just spike Sharon's cup every night? I want her to keep getting the names and countries of birth wrong it's way too funny not to. And more of her slapping Louis on the side! 

FREDDY PARKER (BOYS)

"Ain't No Mountain High Enough"

Maybe it's not the piano? Maybe Freddy literally just needs to stay still have a good moment on the show. His performances just seem to turn into a bit much when he starts moving around. That's just my personal taste. In all honesty I quite liked it, but someone pinch me because I agreed with Louis. The song was a bit big for him. Strangely enough he still delivered one of his best vocals so far! I didn't love it but it was a better performance than last week. B

EMILY MIDDLEMAS (GIRLS)

"Stop in the Name of Love"

Emily, no. What are Simona and Emily doing to her? Something happened during this performance and I came to the realization that she reminds me a bit of Lauren Platt. A very distinct, pretty voice that gets a bit swallowed up by the live stage. Less is more with Emily. I thought the arrangement was brilliant for her and should have worked for her on paper. Some of her vocals just came off a bit shrill and she wasn't able to sustain a lot of the big notes with enough power. Regardless, I thought there were actually some really strong moments that showcased how unique and beautiful her tone is. It was a big, big step up from last week. B-

MATT TERRY (BOYS)

"I Heard it Through the Grapevine"

 I've never really been a big fan of this song but there's no denying Matt sung the absolute mess out of the song. Pelvic thrusts for days! And Nicole's panties were literally dangling from from her thighs, I can not handle her when Matt comes on stage. But yeah, he has so much charisma and confidence up there that he not only delivered one of the best vocals of the night but sold it really well. But can we just talk about those last few runs he did towards the end? The boy can saaaaaaaaang! A-

RELLEY C (OVERS)

"Ain't No Sunshine"

Really, Relley. Girl, that's how you're feeling? Relley came into the live shows with little to no buzz, I honestly expected her to flop the first week and never be able to recover but she's really been proving us all wrong. It's safe to say she topped last week's stellar performance. I thought the mood of the performance was excellent, she looked absolutely amazing. It sounded like it could have been a song produced in 2016. I thought she was a little messy vocally last week but absolutely everything came together for her this time around! That key change? COME ON THROUGH RELLEY! This was absolutely her week and she rose to the occasion! A-

SAM LAVERY

"Hello"

Well, hello, Sam. Haha. We've been missing you! Obviously it was a major improvement from last weeks shaky, impossible (hehe) shouting match. The staging was absolutely magnetic and the first have was almost as haunting as her performance at Judges Houses. The second half was just as exhilarating, picking up the pace with an ending that I thought was brilliant. And let me repeat, she wasn't shouting! She also looked absolutely amazing. Whoever styles the girls is doing a fantastic job! B+

5 AFTER MIDNIGHT (GROUPS)

"Get Ready"/"Reach Out I'll Be There"

Was I watching X Factor or a tribute at the Soul Train Awards? I mean that in the best way possible. This was everything I love about 5 After Midnight just sandwiched into one stellar three minute performance. Good lord. They've already probed that they're extremely current but this style of music worked just as well as them. How was Louis blessed with something so absolutely brilliant? The mix of old school and new school fire was fantastic and this week they reminded us that they can actually sing. I was up in my seat the whole performance! They're a male version of 4th Impact! Without a doubt the best performance of the night! Good lord, I'm still not over it! A

RYAN LAWRIE (BOYS)

"Superstition"

Tell me he didn't look like the older brother from any sixties sitcom about a suburban family, aside from the ripped jeans. Haha. I just got a very Leave it to Beaver vibe off of his outfit. I thought it was an alright vocal with some fun choreography. Definitely wasn't the worst or best of the night. The thing about Ryan is that he's just smack dab in the middle. Like, I enjoy his performance and I see him as a current artist in today's market. B-

HONEY G (OVERS)

"Mo Money Mo Problems"(?)

Did they --? So they actua--? Did all four judges really stand up for that whaling hot mess Honey G tried to slap us in the face with and call a performance? I have to embarrassingly admit, her performance last week was a guilty pleasure. I watched it many times just for my jollies. Although I may have enjoyed Sharon telling her to "really grab your crotch!" and her "TUPAC IS DEAD!" outburst more than the actual performance. But this week was just a flaming sack of dog poop on my front porch. It was painful to watch. I know she can't rap but she was painfully out of time and half of it wasn't even rapping, it was just spelling out her name. F That dance break towards the end where she looked like Amy Poehler in Mean Girls. 

GIFTY LOUISE (GIRLS)

"Rockin' Robin"

I absolutely loved her acapella-ish intro, her voice was really strong. I hate to use this word but I love the sass she exudes when she's performance. She has so much charisma that I wasn't expecting her to give one of her best vocals yet! She can sing, dance and looks like she's absolutely having the time of her life on stage! I always look forward to her performances because she seemingly just has the whole package. She's really been killing it in the live shows so far! B+

SAARA AALTO (OVERS)

"River Deep, Mountain High"

That was...a lot. I love Saara, I hope she has a chance to rebound, but there was way too much going on in the performance. It kind of just looked like a Vegas act. Halfway through the performance as she got to the bridge her vocals took a bit of a deep due to the choreography and it got a bit shouty. It just worries me because she did stellar last week and ended up in the bottom, so I'm scared what's going to happen now that she's not at the top of her game! I hope the public gets behind her. "They don't want you." I mean, I know what he was saying, but that was a little harsh! C

4 OF DIAMONDS (GROUPS)

"You Keep Me Hangin' On"

They looked so uncomfortable, like they had no idea what to do. I thought some of their harmonies were really tight and their solo/duets they shared were alright. It wasn't memorable it just felt like a really good karaoke performance from a group of friends at a bar. I think that after the bridge they could have done something a little more modern. I don't want to say trap but they could have just dropped the bass at brought the house all the way down but it was just an alright performance. Nothing special this week, unfortunately. C+

RANKINGS:

11. Honey G F (Last week's position: #10 // -1)
10. Saara Aalto C (Last week's position: #2 // -8)
09. 4 of Diamonds C+ (Last week's position: N/A)
08. Ryan Lawrie B- (Last week's position: #7 // -1)
07. Emily Middlemas B-  (Last week's position: #9 // +2)
06. Freddy Parker B (Last week's position: #6 // +0)
05. Sam Lavery B+ (Last week's position: #8 // +3)
04. Gifty B+ (Last week's position: #4 // +0)
03. Relley C A- (Last week's position: #3 // +0)
02. Matt Terry A- (Last week's position: #1 // -2)
01. 5 After Midnight A(Last week's position: #5 // +4)

My bottom two: Honey G & Saara Aalto (:/)