Disclaimer: This post contains spoilers for episode twelve of Big Brother 19 after the jump! Everything down below are my personal opinions. I am in no way affiliated with any corporation, especially CBS and Big Brother. Thank you to CBS for the images.
My initial thoughts coming into the Battle Back was that I wanted Cody to walk into the house with a detailed notebook of every stunt Paul pulled since he was evicted. I was surprised when Julie continuously asked them who they thought got evicted after them and none of them knew. Either they just stopped watching the show, which, bitch why? Or the producers keep them on Big Brother island so they can't watch so it will be a fair game when they come back into the house. Either way, I'm disappointed because if they could have seen the shit being pulled from our perspective it would really shake things up in the house.
After a 27 minute recap of the season up until this point, the first four evicted house guests (Cameron, Jillian, Cody and Dominique) are told they will compete in three competitions. The top two will advance to the second competition, the winner of that one will compete against one of the other house guests to get back into the house. The first game is a huge maze, controlled by two ropes. They have to get a ball into a hole on the other side, without sinking the ball in another hole before the hole at the end. Look, bitch, you probably saw it so you know what I'm talking about. All I wanted from this was to see Cody and Dominique win this challenge. Jillian is about as relevant as kit kats to the food pyramid and Cameron is just shouting through his tongue for dear life in his confessionals. Dominique was dealt a horrible hand her last week in the house and Cody's evil is nothing compared to Paul's right now. Cody gets first place but I could feel my dinner from last night coming up when Cameron finished in second. Hopefully Cody swallows up the wrath of him AND Dominique.
Cody and Cameron have to launch balls at a billboard and knock out all of the panels. The first person to do so will advance to the final round against the house challenger. The only thing I have to say about this round is that it's, hopefully, the last time we have to hear Cameron's shrieking, cracking voice yell in the confessionals while he doesn't make eye contact with the camera. Long story short, he doesn't win. Cody moves on to the next round.
Julie tells the house guests about the battle back competition and Jessica's smile is wider than the Atlantic ocean because she knows what's about to happen. Paul is doing everything he can not to look surprised and everyone else is doing back flips because they know they weren't shit and back-stabbed to get to where they are in the competition. Jessica's demeanor in the house after it's announced is just hilarious. The way she looks at Mark, with her hand over her heart, saying he's safe because "[he's] been good to [her]," looked straight out of a cheesy teen drama. And of course while that's happening all Kevin is worried about is brushing his hair plugs. When Julie tells them to pick someone to battle against Cody, obviously they all vote to battle Paul against Cody. They end up playing the maze game, Paul loses (hahahahaha) and Jessica jumps into Cody's arms. Bitch, this Sunday, it's on.
EPISODE GRADE: B
Stray notes:
-"Jillian is in her own world, Dominique is saying things to Jesus..." Okay, Cameron cracked a chuckle out of me ONCE.
-"Cody doesn't have anything. He's like a stone-faced monster." Okay, twice.
-I hope Jessica stays semi-cool now that Cody's back in the house and she has no reason to still be nice.
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