Warning: This contains spoilers for the spring finale of The Haves and the Have Nots. If you haven't seen it, go watch it and eat that last piece of chicken. If you have...why are you still reading this? Review after the jump!
Candace is walking through her house and War is there. He tells her to come close her and he bitch slaps her on to the couch and threatens to kill her before Ericka comes in and saves the day with the mortgage papers. War leaves, telling Candace she has 48 hours to give him the money. Ericka and Candace sit down together afterwards, Ericka has chills after finally meeting War. Ericka reveals that she's Jazmine's sister (Jazmine is one of the girls that War killed because she didn't give him his money). War killed Jazmine over 700 dollars so she can't even imagine what he'll do to Candace, considering she owes him much more than that. Ericka gives Candace the forged paperwork to mortgage everything she's bought so she can pay War off and get herself off the hook. The best part of the scene is Ericka trying to put Candace in check when she says she wants to bring her son back to this house. Candace is so wrapped up in the game she can't even think clearly anymore. Bringing her son to the house where he's in danger of being killed because she was being too greedy? It's her pride talking, she just wants to one up her mother and it's getting a little ridiculous at this point. Sometimes being a mother means knowing what's best for your child and Candace is doing what's best for her ego.
David's idiotic, weak ass comes into Jim's cell asking what he's done to Veronica because he knows that he has a hit out on Veronica. He pleads for Jim to do something to let him help Veronica and threatens to testify against him if he doesn't, and him testifying is worse than Wyatt because he knows much more than he does. In every sense of the word, really, because Wyatt's a complete moron. Jim doesn't care, taunts him some more and tells him that it's too late. He stands outside of the cell, claiming that he will wait to hear news about Veronica and if he gets a call that says she is harmed he'll go into his cell and kill him. David, are you just a complete moron? Your morality used to shine bright like a diamond, now it's dirty as mud. Did you forget this crow slept with a 25 year old, set your house on fire, then tried to set you on fire? I hope David goes into Jim's cell so Jim can quite literally knock some sense into his black ass.
Candace is at the bank, mortgaging the house. She claims she's self employed, and is clearly on edge because all of the damn paperwork is forged. The appraiser tells her that it will take at least thirty days for her to get the money in hand, and that's clearly a problem since she only has two days to get it to War before he kills her. As soon as she leaves his office, this man finna double cross Candy because he calls in and asks if he can get him in to see Jim Cryer. Turns out this is the banker Katheryn was talking to the other day. Scandalous! He meets up with Jim and tells him that he saw Candace. Jim tells him to give her the loan and put in the fine print that if she can't pay it back in fifteen days to foreclose on everything. Unless Candace is that desperate (okay we all know she is), then she will catch the fine print. She's a law student and a damn good one at that, if she actually signs the paperwork then she's pretty much screwed.
Kween Katheryn storms into the D.A.'s office like she's Hurricane Irene and demands her to call Wyatt for her. Jennifer claims she can't do that because he's a witness, like Katheryn gives a damn. Katheryn tells her something might be wrong and she gives in, calling him. He doesn't answer. Probably (well, hopefully) he's overdosed on something. Katheryn comes absolutely clutch, reminding us all why she's the best character in the show. She informs the D.A. of how Wyatt's idiot ass passed his drug test and shows her what an idiot she was to give him access to all of that money. Katheryn Cryer could strike fear into Hitler, this woman is absolutely insane in all of the best ways possible. She calls someone named John about a tracker on a phone that she needs to get tracked and sent to her. Hopefully it's Wyatt she's talking about, for her sake. Y'all know I can't stand Wyatt. Come to think of it, I can't stand the D.A. either. Kill 'em both off, Tyler. UPDATE: Wyatt overdosed. Lol. Jennifer finds him and sends some guys over to check out the hotel room, where Wyatt is passed out on the bed, without a pulse. Yikes. I mean, shit, at least he went out shirtless.
Hanna rages over to Candace's house, where Benny answers the door, to find out what Candace did to get Little Q placed out of her care. When she pushes through she sees (the grand daddy) (who she almost fucked) who informs her that they're filing a lawsuit against the Cryers so they can sue them for covering up what Wyatt did. Hanna kicks Michael and the lawyer out before trying to convince Benny to not sue them before he remind her that Wyatt hit him and that she knew about it without telling him. No matter how much of a bitch Candace is, I'm team Candace on this one. She may be doing it for the wrong reasons but Wyatt left Benny out in the street to die and it's not like the Cryers would be missing much if they paid him. But then HANNA HANNA HANNA comes out the cut and reveals to Benny that she blackmailed Jim into giving her 7.4 million dollars. It's true that Candace got that money but it wasn't even for Benny, so I don't know why Hanna's acting like that money acted as his settlement. Petty petty petty. THEN Hanna gets down on her knees and begs Candace to give her the little boy to raise to which Candace gives her a hardy no sis. THEN Hanna slaps the hell out of Candace. THEN Candace slaps the dog shit out of Hanna. Hanna would've killed the hoe if Benny wasn't there. And I wouldn't be mad. Candace is trash, she ain't shit for doing that to her son (no matter how bad of an actor he is).
Aaliyah comes to Candace's house and gives her 55,000 dollars. Okay, whatever, fuck Lil Q. Candace watches Aaliyah leave and immediately, Veronica's crazy nubian ass pulls up outside of Candace's house. Jeffery comes out of a cab and at this point, these rich black bitches are just staring at each other. Veronica makes a call to Maggie and tells her to meet her at her house and then calls the cops and tells them she's a neighbor and someone is breaking into her neighbor's house. Veronica's gets the whole fuck out of the car and shoves her way into the house after telling her that she needs to talk to her about Quincy. Alright, whatever, so they start insulting each other until Veronica's crazy ass tells Jeffery that Melissa has been waiting for him at their house. Yes. Melissa. The girl she paid to get pregnant by Jeffery's gay ass, in case you've forgotten. She asks Jeffery if she's testifying and when he says yes, she starts pouring some chemical on the floor. This rich bitch smiles, tells Jeffery that she wants him and Melissa to move in with her before the wedding and just struts out like it's nobody's business. After she leaves, Candace tells Jeffery to turn off the lights and Quincy's scrubbed off blood is glowing in the dark. Basically, these two are screwed (hahahahahahahha). I forgot how much I missed Candace and Veronica banter. Now that she's out of jail, hopefully they can cross paths a little more often!
Veronica pulls up to her house and flags down the officer that went to check out the neighbor's house, who says nobody broke into the house (because nobody did). Then Maggie pulls up to the house and Veronica is all smiles when she tells Maggie to go in. Let's not forget there is a sniper with the gun aimed on the front door ready to take out anyone who walks through the door. MAGGIE OPENS THE DOOR AND A GUN GOES OFF AND TYLER PERRY FADES TO BLACK. K.
EPISODE GRADE: B
The whole episode felt a little anti-climatic. There were some good moments (Hanna/Candace's fight, Veronica pouring the liquid on the floor, Katheryn and Jennifer's showdown) but...the cliffhanger is whether or not Maggie gets shot? I really don't give to shits and a bag of bread if Maggie lives or dies so that was a ridiculous way to try and hook us into next season.
But, I'll be back when the show comes back so I'll see you guys on June 21! Thanks to everyone who read any of these reviews, hope you'll be back when I am! For the meantime, whet your appetites with my If Loving You Is Wrong reviews! They should be up around the same time I had these up, tonight's a little different since they came on back to back and I don't want to give myself a hand cramp with all that typing.
-CLICK HERE for more #HAHN reviews!
-CLICK HERE for more the review of the spring premiere for If Loving You Is Wrong!
-CLICK HERE for more #HAHN reviews!
-CLICK HERE for more the review of the spring premiere for If Loving You Is Wrong!
"If a hair on my wife's head is harmed..." I am so glad Jim made a wig joke.
"Jim, you are playing with a wig behind bars and you consider that power?" Bitch, he's holding it, isn't he?
"That's so scary that my hair is standing up." - JIM
"That bitch blew through millions already." - JIM
"PAY ATTENTION." - KATHERYN
"Bitch, I will have you murdered in the streets." - KATHERYN
"If my son dies, there is no place in this world that you, your family, or your unfertilized eggs will be safe." - KATHERYN
"Look at you being the good slave." - CANDACE
"Say it again and imma give you a slave ass whoopin'." - HANNA
"He told me to stop. God told me to stop praying for you." Ooh, child, that hit me hard.
"Hanna, who's covering you in prayer?" "The blood of Jesus." "And where do you live again?" - CANDACE/HANNA
"Get off the grass please! I see you can't hear in your old age." - CANDACE
"I came to see you Miss Young." "I can't help you with your hair." - VERONICA/CANDACE
"How are you, darling?" "Better than your hair, darling." - VERONICA/ CANDACE
"It's a little low. That's a great sign that it's a knockoff, dear." - VERONICA/ CANDACE
"I want you and Melissa to move in with you and me before the wedding." "Bitch you really are crazy." - VERONICA/CANDACE
No comments:
Post a Comment