Tyler Perry accomplished an incredibly difficult feat tonight. He made me feel for Alex Montgomery. It's no secret I can't stand the bitch, and why would I? She cheated on her husband, go knocked up and blamed everyone but herself for everything that happened after (I will never get over her trying to read the dog shit out of Kelly after she didn't tell her about Brad and Marcie). Let's just rewind a little bit and start at the beginning of the episode, which picked up exactly where it left off. Alex' mother forces her way to see the baby and does the jerk a few steps back when she sees that baby is black. Brad's bitch ass is having a field day and invites Rusty to come take a look at the baby (but this bitch is being hypnotized by the baseball game or something. Y'know, white people shenanigans according to Tyler Perry. Before Rusty can come see the baby, Alex' mom (who's name I don't care to learn) pulls everybody upstairs. Before I get this next scene started, I would like to make it clear that I actually liked Alex' mom before this. She seemed like a sweetheart who got caught up with the wrong guy, but this no neck having, Rihanna bob having, slimy, silver haired jar of Johnson's lotion showed her true colors this week and we won't soon forget it since it doesn't look like her bitch ass is going anywhere anytime soon. Not only does she refer to Randal as a "colored" man, not only does she insist that the only way Alex could be having his baby is if he raped her, but this crusty toed tea box SLAPS Alex across the face. TWICE. And then slaps Brad. This is bad enough, but she does it after Alex reveals that the only person who raped her was her father from the time she was six until she went off to college. This is a cop out plot device, but it does its job and makes me feel awful for Alex having to suffer through having those racist, ugly spirited, bitch ass rednecks as parents in addition to having to deal with being raped by her father since she was a child. Fuck Rusty and fuck Margaret, whatever her name is. I hope Brad sets up a trapdoor for them or Eddie comes and deals with these bitches because I'm already sick of them. The whole reason that Alex' father is racist is because a black man killed his father couldn't read the difference between back and forward. First off, Rusty should hate his ass because he doesn't know the difference between back and forward. You don't need to be able to read to know what is in front of you and behind. But it's also extremely messed up because if it was a white man, he wouldn't have blamed his entire race and just moved and went to an HBCU because he couldn't deal with white people so the fact that Christina or whatever this white bitch's name is used that as an excuse is, ironically, inexcusable. Fuck them. I hope Miss Louise goes all Madea on them and brings a riffle to the house. 
Claudia and Esperanza are taking 911 calls and Claudia gets a call from Pete, who is bleeding out in the middle of the street. So now there's blood? Pete's blood looks like Kool-aid. Pete's blood looks like Tyler Perry went to the drug store and bought some spray paint right before they started filming. It's pretty ridiculous. What's also ridiculous is Esperanza and Steven just standing there trying to get in touch with Pete when they know damn well they sent his black ass to the south side, so wouldn't common sense say to just go to the south side and ask around for a bleeding cop in the middle of the street with a bicycle helmet on? And I thought Steven and the other cops were in on this? Why are they acting so concerned now when Steven basically gave nothing even adjacent to a fuck in the finale? Eddie tells Ben to make sure Pete is completely dead before he calls it in or answers the calls on his walkie talkie. Ben crawls over to Pete, who is on the ground wheezing like he's in Wheezy from Dragon Tales. It. Is. A. Mess. How you gon' sound like you're doing an impression of Scooby Doo AND Shaggy at the same time? Ben eventually lets his conscience take over (probably the first time we've ever seen that happen in a Tyler Perry show, right?) and he calls it in to get help for Pete. So apparently Michael B. Jordan, who was thrown in a drier and shrunken, will be around for the rest of the season. Yay? My other major problem with this plot is Claudia. Did the show even build up enough of a relationship between her and Pete for us to care that she was in "distress" when he was called in? They made it sound like they've been dating for six years and, oh boy, the actress playing Claudia? She's...pretty.
Lushion comes to check on Natalie and she tells him to go back to Virginia at his old job where it's safer there. Eddie came after her so there's no telling what he might do to Lushion. Then Lushion tells her that he moved out of his old place and Natalie swiftly reminds him that he can find somewhere else to stay considering he has all that bank. AND THEN "The Catcher In the Lie" tells Lushion that his boss said he quit the force back there over four years ago. Wutchu been doing for four year, Lou? 200,000 dollars with no job for four years? Wutchu been doin'? He refuses to tell her and when he doesn't, she shuts him out and tells him that she doesn't want to see him again until he can tell her the truth and she kicks him out. Kelly calls her later and tells her that she found the perfect place for her, Lushion and the kids (Ramsey's house) but...Lushion was her only form of payment. Natalie can't even afford place mats at this point. Natalie can't afford to cornrow her own hair anymore. Natalie can't afford flour. Natalie can't afford sharp knifes. Natalie can't afford a birthday card. Natalie can't even afford another set of earrings, so a house? Haha.
Randal comes to the hospital to see Alex and the nurse calls security on him (even though Alex isn't in the room) so it would look like she was calling security on some innocent black man. He gets the guy sweeping up to spill that Alex has been discharged. Speaking of dis-charged, Marcie gets a call that says Randal charged 3800 dollars in baby clothes to her credit card. The gag is that Marcie actually accepted the charges. I know she's supposed to be a sweetheart, but girl, 3800 dollars? Baby clothes? Randal is playing you, he's literally doing it for the vine and you're letting him. Marcie also tells Miss Louise that she's moving in...with Brad (as friends). I believe they'll just be friends, Marcie's morally boring for the most part after she stopped drinking and Brad seems to have found the point of no return. Marcie calls Brad to tell him that she found a fully furnished place for them to live and he tells her that Alex' parents are in town, that she was raped by her father, and that he is actually started to regret his actions. That's a big step for Brad. As funny as it is to watch him try and ruin Alex' life, he's finally found the point of his humanity. Randal and Alex absolutely destroyed him and had seemingly obliterated and ounce of sanity be had left in his mind but it's nice to see him getting back on the train to sanity.
Alex runs off with the baby, leaving Brad to search the house, search around the house, go to the shed...everywhere to find that woman but she was absolutely nowhere to be found. Alex' mom tries to convince Rusty to drive back home, but he's too tired and he hasn't seen the baby yet so that's not happening. Randal comes back home and his mom is still trying to convince him to stop being such a fuck boy, but it doesn't work because he's dead set on going to Alex' house to see the baby even those Miss Louise is trynna tell him those crazy white people will scalp his ass if they even see him.
I need the Pete, Claudia, Ben shenanigans to either go away or get shipped off to For Better Or Worse because that acting, those plots are just laughably irritating at this point. Next week, the only way I won't fast forward through that is if I get to see Pete crying again because that shit is. So. Funny. "I'm DYIN'!"
-CLICK HERE for more #ILYIW reviews!
-CLICK HERE for the review of the spring finale for The Haves and the Have Nots!
-The segments ("Miss Louise, Fix My Life", "Brad is a savage", "Boy, you betta bleach" will return next week)
Side notes:
-"She's speechless."
-"I'll tell you! She was sleeping with him willingly."
-"I'm dying." I'm DYING." This is funny, man, you couldn't have not laughed.
-BRUH, the irony of Esperanza telling Claudia to calm down when Claudia looked like she lost her crayons as opposed to being scared that the guy she had a crush on was going to die.
-Miss Louise looks like she wore a white shirt and stood in the middle of an art class at the recreation center. What was she wearing?
"It's real easy to get over someone, when you can get right under someone else in the next room."
-I swear, if Alex had that baby in the shed....what goes around comes back around to the shed, I suppose.
-So that nigga Randal just has these signs on layaway
-Randal look like a bruised beanstalk.
-Rusty will kill Randal? Let him go, Etta.
No comments:
Post a Comment