Disclaimer: This post contains spoilers for episode six of Big Brother 19 after the jump! Everything down below are my personal opinions. I am in no way affiliated with any corporation, especially CBS and Big Brother. Thank you to CBS for the images.
PRE HOH COMPETITION
Hot in the heels of the surprising eviction outcome, Cody and Jessica are pissed off. Cody immediately storms over to Mark, who confesses that he voted to keep Christmas, and then he "grills" Josh. Josh immediately gets defensive, because he also voted to keep Christmas (after it's revealed that he already told Cody he was going to do the opposite, and, bitch, the house just erupts. Josh repeated tells him to stop "grilling" him, and the spirit of twelve angry NFL linebackers possessed Cody as he looked like he was ready to set poor Josh on fire. Kevin and Jason hold him back and he walks away.
The house begins the HOH competition. The competition is supposed to be Candy Crush, but it's basically just a rolling game in a colorful room. Each of them have to search a bunch of candy shaped eggs for a ticket, once they get a ticket, they can get a ball to roll down their choice of three very narrow ramps, that don't have railing, into a hole. The first person to succeeds becomes HOH. The game just turns into a match between Jessica and Paul. Jessica is the only one on Cody's side at this point, and the only one of them both who can become HOH this week. Side note, karma really is a sweaty bitch named Darlene, huh? Cody said verbatim that he and Jessica are now on "the outside," when no more than a week ago he was gathering up his group of irrelevant to go against "the outsiders." Hmm. Paul is George Washington and the war against Cody is the American Revolution, basically he's leading the war on Cody so all of his sugar mamas and sugar daddies are showering him with their tickets to redeem. I really, really wanted to see Cody not give Paul the tickets out of the pettiest part of his soul because I KNEW he knew what was coming. Alex is concerned about who she trusts in the house, so her winning hopefuls are her, Jason or Kevin, but all of them keep fucking up. Paul ends up being the first one to sink the ball in. Cody and Jessica didn't see a ball sink into the slot, they saw a nail sink into their coffin. Jessica and Cody's breakdown is just the epitome of how riding off of popularity and exclusivity will get you nothing if you're shitty people. And hear me when I say this. Jessica and Cody have been the widest, deepest, darkest, frightening, dried up old cunts I've seen on television in a good while. Did I mention they lost? Did I mention that yet?
Christmas and Paul are skipping around like school girls, after Paul's (not Jessica or Cody's, did I mention that?) HOH win. For the record, Cody and Jessica are not HOH this week. Seeing Christmas in pure bliss is a very nice sight considering the manner in which she was snaked on Wednesday. Cody and Jessica are busy in the back room scanning their empty heads to figure out who betrayed them by voting to keep
Christmas in. Kevin steps in, lies straight to their face, and they shrug and believe him. The only person left to blame is Ramses. I may not love Ramses, but it's like Cody and Jessica just moonwalk into idiotsville every chance they got. If they had eyes for anything in the house, besides each other's genitalia, they would know that Jillian was his friend and he wouldn't do that. What possible reason could he have to want to get her out of the house? Cody, himself, labeled them both outsiders on the same team last week? After Ramses leaves, Josh comes in and tries to make peace with Cody but Cody isn't having it. He immediately shuts him down and all but throws his hat at him on the way out the door. Later, Josh and Jessica are having a conversation, with him still not 100% admitting to voting Jillian out so Jessica storms out of the room. On one hand, I get where she's coming from. Josh doesn't have the balls to say that he snaked them. On the other hand, Jessica is a tomato chunk of a human being. Josh follows Jessica into the room with Kevin, Alex, Jessica and Cody and tells her to stop calling him a bitch. First off, let me just say that Jessica is holding something that looks like pepto bismal tablets in her hand. I hope they don't work. I hope you shat the bed that night. And blamed Megan. Cody calls Josh a bitch, accusing him of making "victim noises" and calling him a little child who just sits around and cries. And what does Josh does? He cries about it. First off, I'm surprised Cody can hear victim noises over the sound of his aggressive teeth brushing. Homeboy sounds like he has an electric toothbrush/jackhammer hybrid in his mouth. Secondly, Josh. Josh is kind of like (insert something here), he doesn't know when it's time to quit talking and when he is talking it's just pure nonsense coming out of his mouth. I really, really want to be on his side but while everyone (Mark, Elena and Dominique) try to calm him down and get him to stop crying he's just sitting there nodding like they're repeating his order at the drive thru. Then he walks away and cries some more. Giving them exactly what they want is only going to make the situation worse. The only thing I can give him is that he didn't let them see him sweat. He didn't cry in front of them (even though he cried to everyone else, and 6 million people watching. But still.). DEN OF TEMPTATION
One by one, each of the guests go into the Den of Temptation to see if they were voted to receive the temptation. Christmas is revealed to have been voted to get the temptation. The temptation allows her to replace herself with someone during any veto competition. It's like Big Brother has heard our cries and is doing everything in it's power to kick, drag and pour water on Cody and Jessica while they're down. Obviously she accepts the temptation, as it could come in handy this week. There are a bunch of Eve's Bayou (points if you know what that is) dolls laying on the table. The consequence of Christmas' temptation is that she gets to pick three house guests to become Vetoads. She picks Jason, and obviously Cody and Jessica. Christmas doesn't tell anybody.
Did you read Lord of the Flies? I read it in high school because I was forced to for English but I'm glad I did. It highlighted that its human nature to want a leader and it's a perfect metaphor to this season of Big Brother (and, well, any season). If you're scratching your head wondering why Paul's dick is as far as it is up absolutely everyone's mouths it's because he represents "the good". Bare with me. Cody,
put in these words by Paul himself, is the aggression in the house. He's looked on in a negative light in the house. Paul being Cody's target and so publicly voicing his distain for him turned him into a leader for the house (it also helps that he made it to top two last year, so he clearly knows how to play the game). It's why they were giving Paul all of his tickets, it's why Raven and Matt were so quick to agree to be pawns, and it's why Josh and Alex agreed to be pawns. Well, honestly, Josh is probably just happy someone is talking to him. But, bitch, the last five minutes flipped everything on it's heels. So, I was mistake that Ramses had to put himself up on the block every week for the next three weeks. He actually gets to pick one ceremony over the course of the next three weeks to put himself up on the block. Knowing that the plan is to backdoor Cody, he happily puts himself on the block. What we didn't know is that, in addition to playing in the veto competition, if he wins and pulls himself off the block then that blocks everyone else from being able to use the power of veto. This throws everything out of whack. If Ramses pulls himself off the block, Alex and Josh are stuck on the blocks as pawns gone wrong. My head spun so fast I'm surprised my neck didn't break. EPISODE GRADE: A-
-"There might be some snakes in this game, but there's also a devil."
-"If they wanna play dirty, I will lie, I will backstab, I will throw everybody under the bus." We don't doubt that, Jessica, considering you're naming of a list of all the stunts you've already pulled while in the house.
-Kevin voted to keep Christmas because she makes a mean waffle.
-I don't know what a victim noise is, and Cody doesn't either.
-Ramses' doll didn't look like him as much as it looked like the dad from Moesha.
-"If they wanna play dirty, I will lie, I will backstab, I will throw everybody under the bus." We don't doubt that, Jessica, considering you're naming of a list of all the stunts you've already pulled while in the house.
-Kevin voted to keep Christmas because she makes a mean waffle.
-I don't know what a victim noise is, and Cody doesn't either.
-Ramses' doll didn't look like him as much as it looked like the dad from Moesha.
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