Disclaimer: This post contains spoilers for episode eight of Big Brother 19 after the jump! Everything down below are my personal opinions. I am in no way affiliated with any corporation, especially CBS and Big Brother. Thank you to CBS for the images.
#WhoWantsMeatballs
Picking up right where the dumbest exchange of words just left off is another, just as dumb, exchange of insults between Josh, Cody and Jessica. Josh wants to serve Cody meatballs for his last supper in the house before picking another fight with, screw it, Jody. Cody calls him a man child, then a victim, then Josh lists off some more names and starts up a tennis ball machine of insults shooting at Jessica. In the middle of yelling at her, he claims that he doesn't even want to argument with her (right after starting an argument with her). Alex looks like she's watching an episode of The Golden Girls, watching Josh and Jessica scream at each other, with her head cocked back thanking the Big Brother gods that those bitches have absolutely no home training whatsoever. It pains me to be this annoyed with Josh. I'm not saying that he has every right to drag them, but they've said their fair share of idiotic things to Josh and refused to even talk with him when he tried to explain himself after the eviction on Thursday. My problem with Josh, as petty as it may be, is that he has no idea how to fight them with words. Cody and Jessica aren't the most skilled arguers, with Jessica poking fun at the way his body was shaking while yelling at them. But Josh makes them look much stronger than they are by saying absolutely dumb things when he's fighting with them and it makes me cringe to my core. The meatball thing was kind of funny, though.
Christmas announces to the house that she's going to have surgery, with a choice to leave the show or recover in the Big Brother house. She chooses to recover in the house, which means she's kind of just going to be dead weight. If we get to see more of her sliding around on the ground like a dead fish, like in Candy Crush, then bring it on. Jessica and Christmas have a conversation, Jessica doing her best to clear the air when it comes to Cody putting her up on the block, telling her that she had no idea he was going to put her up. It's all fine and good, but Jessica gets the game twisted when she calls Christmas a mean girl. Really? For real? Is that something that came out of Jessica's mouth? You guys, did Jessica just call someone else in the house a mean girl? The conversation goes absolutely nowhere. Christmas, apparently, is just mad that they didn't come downstairs to check on her. It sounds kind of petty when you think about it, but the only thing I was paying attention to during that scene was the way Jessica's head cocked back perfectly aligning to the sound of the background music after Christmas said "You want me to finish or do you want to keep interrupting me?" The two of them just agree to live amongst each other peacefully. Julie announces that Christmas' surgery went well, but hasn't been medically cleared to return to the house. I expected to see Christmas sprawled out on a hospital bed with her leg up in the air, but she just called in.
Cody isn't a complete idiot. He knows his shot in the house is over, but does whatever he can to salvage Jessica's game. And, girl, when I say he does absolutely the fuck whatever he can to salvage it I am not kidding around. It's Dominique's birthday and Raven baking a cake for her apparently throws Jessica over the edge. Being a have-not, Cody possibly leaving the game, the Den of Temptation curse, the ghost of Megan's sanity begins to weight Jessica down to the point where she is bawling her eyes out in the diary room about not being able to eat any cake. I know the girl is in distress but hearing her desperately cry about not being able to eat cake because she's a have not. Personally, if I were Jessica, I would have taken the cake and beaten Cody senselessly with it. Even though she was an asshole to Megan, every other burden she has to bare in the house (Vetoad, the entire house turning on her) is because of her association with Cody and the horrible decisions he has been making. Cody hops over to Christmas and tells her that Mark and Dominique came up to him and told him to put her up on the block. I don't know if I believe the part about Dominique because the cameras are rolling 24/7 and the editors would have stitched together a flashback for the episode. Mark, on the other hand, was a proponent of Paul staying in the house, knew about Cody's plan to backdoor Paul and switched to Christmas' side right before he voted in the eviction ceremony. Christmas takes the bait and is magically back on Cody's side, and presumably Jessica's now.
Apparently Dominique and Kevin have an Ellen Degeneres themes fake talk show every week where they interview the week's nominated houseguests. Alex and Ramses get interviewed, whatever, but Cody turns himself into a wooden spoon and literal stirs up the pot of the room. He admits not liking Paul from the second he walked in because he's loud and over the top. Cody refuses to answer a shady question from Josh, telling him he doesn't exist in his book, before Dominique throws an anchor over a theoretical ship and sinks her game. She calls out the "organically forming" alliance that he lead, which she was a part of. But before we get into Dominique, bitch, Paul asks Cody if the idea to take him out was all his own. Cody wiggles his fingers, shakes his hips and serves Paul up a hard boiled no. Mark, one of the people accused, immediately hops up and asks him what he means by that. Cody doesn't drop any names, but he makes it clear that there are two people sitting in the room who knew about the plan all along and didn't say anything. Mark, Paul and Matt meet up afterwards to discuss what Cody was talking about, but Paul quickly shifts gears and makes it clear that they need to worry about Dominique now. Her inferring there was an "organically formed" group (the couples, Dominique, Christmas and Paul), might split the house down the middle and cause problems if someone who isn't in that "organically formed" group wins the HOH competition. Basically, Dominique put a giant, red target on her back in the eyes of Paul. Poor girl. She's just been sitting back, enjoying her cereal, and you try to host one talk show and the house turns against you. Well, Paul and company (who might as well be considered the whole house). Paul is now the leader of the house, that's not someone whose bad side you need to be on right now. Is anyone else starting to get annoyed of Paul leading the charge in the house? Cody may be a sack of flaming poop, but calling out the entire house for blindly following Paul is one of the only things he's said that I agree with.
EVICTION CEREMONY
The eviction ceremony begins, with Julie telling the contestants on the block that they have an opportunity to state their case as to why the house shouldn't vote to evict them. Alex and Ramses give legitimate sentences, well, Ramses does and Cody pleads his love for Jessica. Jessica, Kevin and Christmas (?!) vote to evict Ramses and everyone else votes to evict Cody. This means the nights we spent sitting by our beds praying to the Big Brother gods actually paid off for once.
CODY - "...Do you have a social game?"
Julie interviews Cody after his eviction where he says a bunch of things you'd expect. He drags Paul, pretends he had a game strategy for up to week four and drags Paul. Like I said before, he's right about everyone in the house having Paul's dick so far up their mouth. With Cody gone, it's going to be interesting to see who steps up to take some leadership because it seems like they're all just following the leader right now. For what it's worth, Cody's actions in the house had me wheezing, jumping on the couch and sprawled out on my bed. Horrible person, fantastic reality television star.
EPISODE GRADE: A-
-"I see revenge in your eyes." Bitch, if Cody comes back into the house the entire house is going to physically flip upside down and I cannot wait.
-"I can't even do something as simple as eat a cake." The passion behind that delivery. Simply iconic.
-Cody's hop is just so unbelievably ugly.
-"I play with my heart, not my mind." He played with his toothbrush.
-"Remember Cameron?" I wish I didn't.
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