If Loving You Is Wrong: The Painter (2x03)

The episode gets off to an entertaining start as Lushion begins to get growingly suspicious about what happened to Ben. Eddie calls Lushion to thank him for saving his life, as only Eddie can. Eddie knows that Lushion is looking into Ben's shooting and tells him to stop asking questions, essentially telling him that even if he isn't there - he's still in Eddie's world. Lushion is fearless, though, hanging up on Eddie's ass as he sees Steven and the captain talking. Gotta give him props for standing up to Eddie.

Alex is asleep in her hospital bed as the doctor comes in and thanks Kelly for calming her down and getting her to take her pills. Kelly is the MVP of this entire show. No matter how messy things get you can always count on Kelly to be the auntie at the BBQ that brings everyone back down to Earth. She notices that she's fidgeting in her sleep. The rest of the girls, sans Marcie - of course, come into the room wondering how Kelly got her to take her meds. Esperanza and Kelly hilariously rip on Natalie for not being gentle enough to Alex. But Alex needs gentle right now. She may not deserve it, but it's what she needs. The girls leave as Kelly wonders what she's dreaming about

Not surprisingly, she's dreaming about when her life was easier. A simpler time when she wasn't so wrapped up in this web of deception that's been ruining her life - that she and Randal started. She's dreaming about how her affair with Randal started. As Brad and Alex are moving into their new house, Marcie runs over with a smile on her face introducing herself and Randal to her new neighbor. It's interesting so see the characters in this episode in a way you typically haven't before as an audience. Everyone just looks so happy. Alex isn't the queen of doom this week, Randal doesn't look as insane as he has this whole past first season and Marcie is actually smiling. Aside from when she's taunting Randal or throwing shade at his mother we haven't really gotten a chance to actually see her genuine beautiful smile in a while and it's a way to bring the show down to Earth. A great deal of this episode is very calm. It's a nice change of pace. While I've said before how the show is at it's best when it embraces it's soap opera elements, the change of pace came at a wonderful time for the show. Also, it's weird to see Marcie and Alex really interacting as friends, which they have been doing a terrible job of doing - even before Marcie found out Alex was the woman Randal was cheating on her with. The two actresses share...wait for it...actual chemistry in this episode. There's also a great deal of foreshadowing in the scene where the couples are meeting for the first time. The way Marcie and Brad introduce themselves to each other make it seem like they're the ones having the affair. Marcie practically eye humps him when she tells him hell. And when the couples switch dance partners, Marcie grabbed onto Brad like she was going to slip off of a boat.Another thing I found interesting was Marcie in this episode. You can see throughout this episode that she was quite pushy in becoming friends with Randal and Alex. She all but walks into their house without permission as she tells the two her and Randal are "great at unpacking." And then finally later in the episode when Alex is trying to tell her that she doesn't need any help painting the house, she offers up her husband on a silver platter, basically. 

Sidenote: When Marcie tells the group she's a lightweight I had several laughs because clearly at this point in the present, Marcie is having herself about 6 bottles of wine and 4 shots of vodka per night.

Later in the night after the couples hang out and Alex and Brad are at home she tells Brad that the music got her in the mood. Personally, I think doing the Tootsie Roll with Randal got her in the mood...but I digress. The next thing that happens is almost too painfully hilarious to discuss. But, child, we will. Tyler Perry shaded the entire chocolate fuck out of Brad's English ass. The two of them start going at it at 11:07 and Brad reaches completion by 11:09. I said 11:09. Brad got it up for about two minutes before he conked out like a middle schooler and Alex was just as disappointed as the rest of us. Marcie and Randal, however? The two of them started at 11:07, as well, and the scene flashes foreword to 1:15. I don't know if they're still on round one or round 16 but Randal is still mowing Marcie's garden like a lawn. Alex' nigga senses must have been tingling because she gets up and goes to the window and just stands there watching them. She doesn't bother to turn off the light that has her glowing like mother Mary in the window. She just stands there watching them fuck like there is literally going to be no tomorrow. These two are like jack rabbits, it was funny to watch. Even funnier was the two of them seeing they got caught and them laughing there asses off as Marcie calls Alex a "small town girl" that's just gotten her mind "blown. The next day Randal sees her outside and apologizes to her, claiming that their house was vacant for so long they forgot to close the curtains. Funny thing is, Randal doesn't close the curtains again the next night as Alex watches them have sex...again.

The four come back from drinking, or something (in the middle of the day?) and as they're saying goodbye to each other we get the first glimpse of the affair. Randal initiates it by grabbing onto Alex' ass like it was a door handle when they're saying goodbye to each other. Alex is clearly uncomfortable, and Randal is sort of drunk, so innocent. Right? As the time goes on, Alex is pregnant and Marcie is uncomfortable and jealous as she watches Randal dote over the couple and take pictures of them. Another flashforward sees Randal apologizing to Alex for touching her and hugging her too long. Alex tells him she doesn't give a rats fat ass but Randal won't stop pushing and she's forced to try and tell him she's not interested in him like that. He tells her he's been feeling a certain way about her and she tries to deny it but she's an awful liar. She says she's only caught them having sex once but she has clearly been glowing in the light watching them so Randal calls her bluff. Somehow we go from this to Randal telling her he flat out wants to bend her over the sofa. ...then he calls her beautiful. Then tells her her doesn't want to make her uncomfortable and tries to hug her. I'm on Alex' side at this point because she's trying to shoot off his advances but he is relentless and that one vein he gets when he is angry pops out of his forehead. Not only is he relentless but did y'all see those damn razor bumps? Someone needs a bevel razor (:

Marcie comes to Alex' house and talks about her having trouble getting pregnant and asks why she hasn't been around lately. Alex says she's been busy (yeah, watching you and your husband fuck like it's 1999). What Marcie needs to be worried about is the fact that her bangs have stayed the same length for about 6 years. Seriously, how have her bangs stayed the same length this entire flashback that's supposed to be taking the course of about 10 years. And why were the bangs even necessary? The bangs just got on my nerves, man, the bangs just got on my nerves. The four then go out bowling and blah, blah, blah. The next day Marcie offers up Randal's services to help Alex paint the house and as they're painting there is so much cringe worthy dialogue I don't know where to start. "You look like old times. Not that you old, I mean......you looks amazing. I can't believe you've had two kids." He stares at her ass, "Yeah, but that body..." "I wasn't flirting. I meant from a genetic standpoint. Cause you know I work out." "Yeah, I know." "So you've noticed?" Lawd. As Alex shows him a border for the room, he touches her hand and she retracts before he says it's getting kind of hot in here. She goes to open the window and he corners her and opens the window very slowly. 

The doorbell rings and it's Alex' crazy ass parents. Well, her "pa" is the crazy one. This mans neck is so red he must have gotten bitten by a vampire. When she hugs him, he is so cold to her it gave ME frostbite. Her dumb ass father thinks Brad is a Russian because he "is if he says he is." As the father goes on to say many more ignorant things, Randal's black ass comes down without a shirt on like he's hopping onto the next season of Strawberry Shortcake. Her father calls him boy, asks if he's on Welfare, asks if he can't afford clothes, calls him a darkie, asks why he isn't in the field and uppity. As he leaves he calls him a "thing." God damn when did this turn into The Family That Preys. For some reason instead of using the door, Randal jumps the fence and goes back to his yard. Into his shed. Alex comes to apologize and the two embrace. She begs him not to hate her because of them and he kisses her. He tells her to "touch him" and...clearly she does. Okay can anyone blame Alex to be honest... She says she can't do it while her hands are still super glued onto his chest. Long story short, they fuck. 

Alex calls out Randal's name in her sleep and wakes up to, "No it's Brad." Brad is sitting right next to her. The one time he comes to the hospital he catches her calling out his name. The twist in the knife was when he called the baby "her son." And he tells her he's going to "remind her everyday of what [she's] done" and "welcomes her to the rest of [her] life," calling it hell.

EPISODE GRADE: B+

Eddie is the best: 

Calling himself Lushion's friend. Ooh, boy!

Ugh, Alex:

Everything in this episode was just ugh. My personal favorite was her telling him she didn't want him as he hand stayed gorilla glued onto his chest in the shed.

Brad is a savage:

Brad was so shady to Marcie and Randal when they first moved in. So shady.

Notes:

Marcie's bangs. Those things deserve an ugh.